Well it’s true… *I pull down my glasses and glare at you* No, not because of the sex…well, *pushes up glasses and clears throat* Not totally because of the sex. I actually love writing about BDSM because it’s a lifestyle choice that I find to be honorable. Does that sound weird to you? Why? I suppose you’re used to thinking in terms of BDSM = kinky. Sure, sometimes and for some people, but I’ve known some freakishly kinky people who were not BDSM identified. Heck, even within the community there’s derision on which protocols are to be adhered to and which should not. So I’m thinking it’s up for personal interpretation.

I choose to view a person who’s committed to the lifestyle as being an individual who has decided to take an honorable path toward self-enlightenment. Let’s face it they’ve made a conscious choice to strive to be something other than they were – something they perceive to be better for them – what’s wrong with that? Nothing. Now, on the flipside? What’s right with that? Everything. Change for the better is always a good thing in my books. <- pun intended :)

But who determines what ‘better’ constitutes? Me? You? Nope, the person who consciously makes the change gets to decide because only they can know what they truly want in life to make them happy. So, if licking someone’s boots, getting whipped or being locked in a collar floats your boat on a higher tide, go for it. And as a writer, if you like to write an edgy D/s story where the Dom orders his sub to her knees right away or he drinks alcohol before a scene or he cries after sex, cool, because it’s all about interpretation and the judgment of that is up to the reader. I can only speak of my personal interpretation and how that translates into the stories I write.

For me, what makes the perfect Dom is a man who is honorable, intelligent, consistent and self-possessed. He doesn’t have to explain himself to anyone, least of all to his submissive. He should be willing to listen, learn and adapt to even the subtlest changes that occur within the relationship he’s been entrusted to maintain. (So, yeah, no bringing his heroine to her knees until she earns the privilege, absolutely no drinking because that messes with the faculties he needs to control the scene and as for crying afterward? Eek – Never.)

To me, the perfect submissive is a woman who is strong enough to completely surrender herself to her Dom because she knows this is what makes her man happy and his happiness is where her ultimate happiness stems from. She too, must listen, learn and adapt as (I believe) the D/s dynamic is more intimate than the ‘traditional’ aspects of a non D/s identified couple.

Did I know that when I set out to write Reclaimed Surrender, I would get an either white or black response from readers/reviewers? Yes, because there is no gray here. I didn’t explain the ‘why’ of what drives my characters to be the way they are – they just are – so this story is more a journey of sexual rediscovery between a committed D/s couple, than it is an explanation of how they became one.

That said I got my first review this week from Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews. Actually, I got two…from the same review site!!! I know, I thought that was pretty awesome, too. My first BDSM review and I was lured into a review ménage. How cool is that? Hehehe

ReclaimedSurrender_cover Riley Murphy

5silver-stars

redsilversticker

Guilty Pleasures Book Reviewers - “What a beautiful story and an insightful look into the crucial difference between bdsm in the bedroom and bdsm as a lifestyle.” 

Riley

 

I have and he had bad breath. His name was Dick, he was a dick and had a dick, but I digress. What’s in a name or more precisely a character name? Well, one would hope if you’re writing a romance you’re not going to name your hero Dick. That said I wouldn’t go with Darren, Tad, Jeremy or Malcolm either.

I usually outline the particular character’s attributes and personality and then choose a name I feel coincides with it. Not a perfect science, but one that works for me. Anyway, I got to thinking about this because I had someone say they didn’t like my hero’s name (Rene) in Reclaimed Surrender, because it sounded French.

French? Okay…

But then they went on to say that I should choose names with hard beginning consonants like Kyle or Tucker. They put so much thought into this that I decided to do the same. I asked myself, has there ever been a time I’d ever notpurchased or put down a book because of the character’s name? And my answer was no. I may have struggled through a couple of stories that had hard to pronounce names, but it didn’t stop me from reading them and even though this person didn’t like the name I chose she still read the book and enjoyed it.

So, once again I started thinking.  Geez, I’ve had comments, emails and discussions with people who have read my book and I’ve gotten all kinds of comments about Rene.

He’s my super-sekrit new boyfriend.

He’s one sexy Dom.

He can be my disciplinary.

My favorite?

He’s the kind of man, men would look up to.

And here I am blogging about why someone didn’t like his name? Huh.  All I can say about this is, next time I’ll try harder. Maybe I’ll use the hard consonant idea and name my hero Kelly. I’ve always loved that for a guy. ;)

Riley

 

When you watched the Wizard Of Oz the first time did you like it better when the Wizard was the ‘all powerful being’ behind the curtain or did you relish the moment he was outed by Toto? For me it was a big disappointment because I really wanted to believe that the Wizard was this great and powerful force, but then when he was revealed I realized he was just a regular old guy who knew some cool stuff. Kind of a let down, ya know?

The ‘reveal’ idea is making me think about a few things now that my debut BDSM romance novel, Reclaimed Surrender, has been published. How ‘out there’ do I want to even be to my readers? That is the question.

I’m reminded of my first reader – author meet and greet. I was the enamored reader and my author crush was this stunning, ethereal beauty in a flowing white gossamer gown who was going to read her beautiful prose with a soft and totally cultured English accent or so I thought…

There I was sitting in the hot auditorium. My sweaty little palms clutching her masterpiece. I was trembling with excitement at the thought that any moment my for realz goddess was going to make an appearance, when this stranger walked up to the podium and cracked opened the haloed book.

I swallowed my disappointment at the sight of her. Meh, so what if she wasn’t the five foot eight ethereal beauty I had envisioned. Five foot nothing but stout was okay too. I plastered a tight smile on my face, wiggled to get comfortable in my chair and waited for that gorgeous voice to speak those temporal perils of wisdom by which she wrote.

When she spoke the effect on me was like a bucket of ice water landing on a sunbather who’d been soaking up the rays for an hour. I nearly fell off my chair. There was no cultured English accent. Nope, she had a gritty smoker’s voice that railed when she inflected. I can remember wincing it was so bad.

Huh? What? This couldn’t be. Where was my beautiful author that had been my friend through the whole book? This short, stout, coughing and wheezing woman wasn’t my author!

…But she was. And after checking to make sure a few times, I got over my initial shock and determined it didn’t matter what she looked or sounded like her words and stories touched me and that’s all I need to know. So I figure if I can get over the Wizard reveal my readers should be able to.

I wonder if they’d be disappointed to know that I don’t wear lingerie because I hate doing laundry and unlike my heroine I can cook and do so every freaking night.

Does anyone else wonder how their readers perceive them?

Riley

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