Yay! It’s Laundry Lottery Day!
I know I haven’t posted in a while, but let’s just say, I’m back now so buckle up.
*Insert me twirling my handlebar mustache here, just before I tie you to the train so you are forced to listen*
So, um…laundry lottery, you say?
Yup. That would have been yesterday, and if you refer to the above picture you will see that I scored from Honey’s pockets big-time this week.
Imagine me checking out the excavated treasures. Now to identify.
Looks at the wad of blue paint tape all squashed and thinks, “Meh, he cut himself again and taped up the wound until it stopped bleeding. No good to me.”
I toss the tape ball in the garbage.
Picks up that blue plastic thing and then puts it aside for the moment. But seriously. WTH is it?
Then looks at the tile spacer. (Psst. That’s the white ‘X’ plastic thing on top of the black rubber thing) and decides, “Don’t care about that as Honey has a kabbillion of them being a contractor and all.”
Seeew, ‘X’ marks the spot right on top of the blue tape in the garbage with that.
Now *turns and narrows eyes at you* that black rubber thing? Color me curious because it happens to be the bottom part of the heel to one of my favorite pairs of shoes. Why is this find concerning me? Well, I’ll tell you. Honey was supposed to have taken that piece of rubber, along with my shoes to the repair store AND not to be too suspicious about all this, but he’s been hedging about repair timeframe whenever I ask on the ETA of my shoes being returned to me.
What does this find tell me? The freaking guy thinks he lost the piece and he doesn’t know how to admit it to me.
Perfect. So this item? Imma keeping it for future blackmail purposes.
The keychain medallion thing? I have no idea what that is, so I put it and the blue thing in the basket that houses all our mystery household items. The collection of which is impressive. Trust me.
Two twenties and a Ten. Oh, sure there’s some loose coins which I later deemed to be very useful when Honey finally got home, but a cool 50 bucks? Yeah.
*Smiles gleefully, prepared to whistle a jaunty tune and walk off when I notice how solemn you are. It’s your quizzical silence that makes me stop and turn to look at you*
Oh, don’t give me that face. What? *cups hand to ear to better hear you* You guys want to know how coins were useful? Simple. When Honey got home yesterday I told him I found some money while I was doing his laundry. I held out that loose change and asked him if he wanted it back.
What did he do?
He perused the meager coins in my palm and said, “No, babe. You keep it.”
What did I do?
I made sure he saw my wide-eyed and innocent expression. “Are you sure?”
Of course, he said yes, but before you call me out for being a complete and utter sneaky rat for not including the bills, remember one thing. I know the man like the back of my hand. The minute he thought he’d lost the piece to my shoe he didn’t bother taking my beloved’s to the repair place. He probably ditched them and is only waiting for the right time to tell me about the tragedy.
Moral of the story? I’m using his fifty bucks – and then some – to eventually replace my much-beloved gear once he comes clean about what he did.
But hey, you notice this laundry story is all about clean. First, his clothes being cleaned before he will have to come clean and tell me about my shoes!
As always, thanks for stopping by!