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August 2nd 2016

Yay! It’s Laundry Lottery Day!

November 6, 2016

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I know I haven’t posted in a while, but let’s just say, I’m back now so buckle up.

*Insert me twirling my handlebar mustache here, just before I tie you to the train so you are forced to listen*

So, um…laundry lottery, you say?

Yup. That would have been yesterday, and if you refer to the above picture you will see that I scored from Honey’s pockets big-time this week.

Imagine me checking out the excavated treasures. Now to identify.

Looks at the wad of blue paint tape all squashed and thinks, “Meh, he cut himself again and taped up the wound until it stopped bleeding. No good to me.”

I toss the tape ball in the garbage.

Picks up that blue plastic thing and then puts it aside for the moment. But seriously. WTH is it?

Then looks at the tile spacer. (Psst. That’s the white ‘X’ plastic thing on top of the black rubber thing) and decides, “Don’t care about that as Honey has a kabbillion of them being a contractor and all.”

Seeew, ‘X’ marks the spot right on top of the blue tape in the garbage with that.

Now *turns and narrows eyes at you* that black rubber thing? Color me curious because it happens to be the bottom part of the heel to one of my favorite pairs of shoes. Why is this find concerning me? Well, I’ll tell you. Honey was supposed to have taken that piece of rubber, along with my shoes to the repair store AND not to be too suspicious about all this, but he’s been hedging about repair timeframe whenever I ask on the ETA of my shoes being returned to me.

*Shakes head*

What does this find tell me? The freaking guy thinks he lost the piece and he doesn’t know how to admit it to me.

Perfect. So this item? Imma keeping it for future blackmail purposes.

*Moves along*

The keychain medallion thing? I have no idea what that is, so I put it and the blue thing in the basket that houses all our mystery household items. The collection of which is impressive. Trust me.

And then?

Score!

Two twenties and a Ten. Oh, sure there’s some loose coins which I later deemed to be very useful when Honey finally got home, but a cool 50 bucks? Yeah.

*Smiles gleefully, prepared to whistle a jaunty tune and walk off when I notice how solemn you are. It’s your quizzical silence that makes me stop and turn to look at you*

Oh, don’t give me that face. What? *cups hand to ear to better hear you* You guys want to know how coins were useful? Simple. When Honey got home yesterday I told him I found some money while I was doing his laundry. I held out that loose change and asked him if he wanted it back.

What did he do?

He perused the meager coins in my palm and said, “No, babe. You keep it.”

What did I do?

I made sure he saw my wide-eyed and innocent expression. “Are you sure?”

Of course, he said yes, but before you call me out for being a complete and utter sneaky rat for not including the bills, remember one thing. I know the man like the back of my hand. The minute he thought he’d lost the piece to my shoe he didn’t bother taking my beloved’s to the repair place. He probably ditched them and is only waiting for the right time to tell me about the tragedy.

Moral of the story? I’m using his fifty bucks – and then some – to eventually replace my much-beloved gear once he comes clean about what he did.

Men!!!

But hey, you notice this laundry story is all about clean. First, his clothes being cleaned before he will have to come clean and tell me about my shoes!

Interesting eh…?

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley

Up next I will be listing winners of the flipping the bird hook and the build-a-giveaway. I will also be sharing my cover of PERMIT ME! This is Caleb and Genevieve’s story!

 

 

 

 

 


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IT’S A TOPSY-TURVY WORLD OUT THERE…

September 23, 2016

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Before I tell you about the latest Honeyism, I wanted to let those of you know who read my books, that there’s a brand new one nearly ready for release! This is Caleb and Genevieve’s story. That’s pronounced Jen-vee-ev, but he call’s her Frenchie, because she is. Well, he also calls her Geneva, like the convention, and you’ll have to read the book to find out why. 🙂

Meet Caleb’s Frenchie! 😉

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The story is a long one, so I will be posting teasers over the next few weeks. I have a tentative release date of October 31st! Can’t wait!

PERMIT ME by RILEY MURPHY

She saved his life and as a reward, she wants his hand in marriage.

Here’s a teaser…

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NOTE: I’ll be doing a cover release in a week or so!

Okay, now for a slice of my life. As some of you have already noticed, (thanks for the emails, btw) I haven’t posted a blog in a while and there’s a reason for that. I haven’t been able to sit for longer than an hour at my desk for the past few weeks. Why? My mom fell and when I picked her up I wrenched my back. *Wags finger at you* Don’t look at me like that. The woman is 100 pounds soaking wet and I’ve done this numerous times before. *Pinkie swears*

BUT! What hasn’t happened before is my mom falling a second time when I tried to steady her. She fell to the right and I automatically caught her and leaned to a hard left so we both wouldn’t go down. The moral of that story? Don’t ever, EVER, do that, guys! Seriously. I should have had a chair nearby to sit her in before I picked her up the first time. *le sigh* Now she’s motoring around the place and me? Decrepit. That’s the best way to describe how I’m moving at the moment.

Now, I could spend hours going over all my woes, but I didn’t like having to live through them so I’m going to save you all the grief of having to read it. Long story short? I am not a good patient. I’m much better when I get to play nurse Bambi. 😉

The upside of all this? I’ve put my dreams of becoming a star student at a yoga academy to rest. Why? Well, for starts the person who invented this mode of torture was an evil genius. Translation? Yoga stretches are not for me. Maybe I’m too short. When I lamented this fact to Honey what did he say?

“Try inflexible.”

Drat! He’s probably onto something there.

I’ve also learned that chewing on tinfoil with dental fillings isn’t the only type of electric shock discomfort I can’t stand. My back – in the L4-L5 area? Was not good. Yeah, every time I moved left or right it was that shock-like tinfoil being chewed kind of sensation I felt, but only in my spine. Do you know how many times in the course of one day a person moves left or right? I do. I counted! *Insert Homer Simpson shudder here* Oh, and did I mention that I have this thing about taking medication – as in, I don’t like to? True story. So there’s me toughing it out – flat on my back, unable to sit at my desk or comfortably work with a keyboard to get words down for two weeks. What did I do? I went old school. College ruled notebooks. Great right?

*Looks right at you*

Not great! I wrote the whole book and I can’t read my writing!!! *Cries* Just this morning I was reading a passage and I’m squinting over a word. I’m sounding it out. Here’s me. “Is it slain? Stay? Stain? Slang?” I go back and read the whole sentence. “Convertible in tire our slain mean confused.”

Um…yeah, I’m confused.

Turns out the ‘s’ word was “skin”. As in “comfortable in their own skin”! I may as well toss the frigging books out. *Cries harder*

Which brings me to Honey. I want you to keep my monumental WHOLE 380 PAGE CURSIVE STORY MESS problem in mind while I tell you about his most pressing recent upsets. To set this up, we’re in the living room during morning coffee time. He’s bringing me the java. Here’s the conversation.

“I can already tell today’s going to be a beast.”

Me trying not to wince when that creepy and instantaneous electric shock pain wave shoots through me. “Why do you say?”

***Pauses here for a minute to mention that you guys may want to sit down for this. I wouldn’t want anyone to fall over and injure themselves when they hear the disparaging news. Seated? Good. I shall carry on. Ready?***

Honey sits and then shakes his head. “We (as in he because I’ve been going to bed early to get better faster) forgot to turn on the dishwasher last night and there were no small spoons. I had to use a big one.”

Me blink, blink. “So?”

“I make the perfect cups of coffee every morning because I have the correct tools. These cups might be too sweet.”

And there I am trying to figure out how I’m going to get the stupid cup to my mouth without feeling one of those yucky twinges when I realize he’s serious.

Men!

I’m sure my tone was bland when I muttered, “This is why you think the day is going to be beastly. You had to use a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon?”

“Yeah. That and we’re out of cream. I had to put milk in mine. I hate that.”

Yeah, grocery shopping for me is off the table at the moment so…meh, I drink my coffee black so all I did was stare at him.

That’s when he said, “It’s a topsy-turvy world out there.”

I guessed that the Topsy “out there” he was speaking of was our kitchen and the turvy part came from me not sticking to our nightly routine as I usually turn on the dishwasher before bed. Which got me to thinking. My coffee was in my favorite mug. The mug I drank out of yesterday morning. What a guy, right? Obviously, he went through the trouble of washing my favorite mug when he could have given me a different one, no?

After I mentioned this to him, thanking him, he frowned. “Don’t thank me because there’s a funny thing about that.”

*Nothing but my eyes move as I look at you* The only time Honey prefaces anything with “funny thing about that” is when he’s trying to downplay how mad I’m going to be after I learn about the non-funny thing he’s done now.

*Deep breath* as I return to eye him and wait for him to drop the bomb.

“I didn’t realize the dishes in the dishwasher were still dirty until I had the coffee poured and I tried to find a spoon.”

That’s when I noticed there was a dried coffee drip on the side of my mug and I hadn’t even taken a sip. *Turns my whole head now to look at you* Do you believe this guy?

I raise a brow at him. “So I’m drinking out of a dirty mug?”

He raised a brow right back at me. “Don’t I always tell you not to rinse the dishes before you put them in there?”

What one had to do with the other made me shake my head until he said.

“I wasn’t going to say anything but on Saturday when I unloaded the dishwasher it wasn’t until I got to putting the last fork in the drawer that I realized the who load I’d just put away hadn’t even been washed.”

I put down my mug, unmindful of the back twinges. “Tell me you loaded them back in there and washed them.”

He slowly shook his head. “The machine would have been running all night.”

Even though I knew the answer I had to ask, “So what you’re telling me is that we’ve been eating off of dirty dishes for two days? Is that it?”

“That would be my estimate.” And before I could even get my head around this he popped his brows at me. “Topsy-turvy. Am I right?”

Well, as it turns out, he may have been right with his T & T observation, but he’d been horribly wrong about sharing the dirt with me – pun intended.

Bottom line? Honey got in big – big as in huge –trouble! And me? I realized I better stay healthy so I can keep an eye on things – otherwise Honey just might kill me! 😉

Hope all you guys are doing well. Geez, we still haven’t done our drawing for a build-a-giveaway. We have to fix that! These are the items in the drawing.

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This is the front

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This is the back.

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A twenty-five dollar Amazon gift card.

And I’m adding

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A “YOU HAD ME AT SPANK!” dog tag

And since most of you guys liked this:

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I’m going to do a separate drawing for this item at the same time. So there will be two winners!

One winner will win the pillow, the 25.00 gift card, and the dog tag.

And the other winner will win the “flipping the bird” wall hook.

Yay! I say we do both drawings a week today. That will be Sept 30th 2016. Comments on this post will be counted as well.

If you are a subscriber you’re already entered one time for each drawing, but with every additional comment on posts, your name gets added for additional chances to win. So don’t forget to leave a comment. Comments on this post will be counted as well.

Have a great weekend and as always – Thanks for stopping by!

Riley


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Hm. You Don’t Say…

August 17, 2016

domestic dispute

You’re going to have to picture this. Honey and I get into bed last night and after a couple of minutes I say, “Did you leave the pool pump running?”

This is one of those things I’ve asked him not to do at night because every time the vacuum gets hooked up against one of the walls I hear gurgling and immediately wake up thinking something has fallen into the pool.

Something like what, you may ask?

Well, since we’ve lived in this house we’ve had three rabbits, 5 possums if you count the fact that it was the same baby one three different times, a cat, a bird and I don’t even want to talk about the snakes. You know? Now that I think about it. We’ve had more wildlife find their way into our currently screened-in pool then we did for the eight years we lived in a house that had a pool with no screen. That’s weird. But anyways, this is the conversation that follows.

Honey doesn’t move. He’s lying face down next to me with his head turned away as he replied, “Yeah, I left it on.”

I frown at the ceiling. “But you know I don’t like it running during the night.”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “No. That’s your husband who knows that. I’m the other guy.”

There’s me, blink, blink. “Other guy?”

His voice is gravelly so I know he’s close to falling asleep when sighs. “The new boyfriend you’re trying to impress by not nagging him to death to do shit like this for you.”

Imagine my eyes narrow as I look right at you. To death? Can you spell drama queen? But then if he were the boyfriend wouldn’t he be trying to impress me with his sexual prowess?

After I explained all this to him and he didn’t budge or reply, I was curious.

“So if you’re a new boyfriend staying at my house when my husband is away why aren’t we doing the horizontal Mumba right now? Isn’t that why you’re here?

“Nope. I came for the comfortable bed. Unfortunately, I wasn’t told about the magpie that resided in it.”

Aaaand, I hit him with a pillow. When that got his attention and he turned, coming up on an elbow to look down at me, I said, “Having a new boyfriend sucks. I much prefer my husband.”

That’s when he grinned. “It would seem my work here is done.”

I waited until he settled back down with his head on the pillow before I shot that smarmy comment out of the water, “Not yet, Bucko. You still have to go turn off the pool pump.”

Haha! In the end, he didn’t leave the bed at all…but I was okay with that. Really okay, actually. 😉

But as for tonight? Well, I decided to preempt any problems in this regard. When I made the bed this morning I used the David Post-It-Notes from Requested Surrender and stuck seven of them on his pillow. The message?

Turn. The. Stupid. Pool. Pump. Off. Please!

Heh. And as the say. I shall keep you Posted.

Thanks for stopping by!

Riley


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YAY! ADDING TO OUR GIVEAWAY BECAUSE “THE WILD ONE” IS #3 ON AMAZON’S KINDLE WORLD TOP 100!!!

August 8, 2016

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So excited about this one! Ben and Daisy are a lot of smexy fun together!

Now for adding to our giveaway. If you didn’t see the Romeo pillow check it out here.

For those of you haven’t read this one, Romeo is Daisy’s naughty little chihuahua. He’s a bad little boy sometimes, but he’s so cute. See…

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And here’s what we’re going to add to our giveaway! A 25.00 Amazon giftcard.

amazon-card-blankA 25.00 Amazon giftcard.

If you’ve read The Wild One I hope you enjoyed it. And if you haven’t read it yet, I hope you will!

Oh, and an update about the fickle finger’s fate. Honey installed this:

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just inside my closet door. Actually, I use it to hang my purse on. I had been getting into a bad habit of leaving my purse in the kitchen or on the hall bench. So it’s a win/win. This way he doesn’t have to look at the finger (that he said was NOT going into our newly remodelled bathroom) and I get to keep it now that it’s been banished to the closet. I happen to love it there, so it all worked out…of course, he hasn’t seen what I bought to replace this. *Twirls handlebar mustache just before I tie him to the tracks* I’m not sure how the new item is going to go down…but you know me. I’ll spill all the beans to you once I have them. Hehhehheh. Can’t wait.

Thanks for stopping by!

Riley


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Yay! THE WILD ONE MADE AMAZON’S TOP 100 IN ROMANCE!!! AND AIRING ONE’S DIRTY LAUNDRY!!!

August 5, 2016

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I miss Ben and Daisy, but I’m so glad readers are enjoying them! I want to thank the readers who have emailed or reached out to me on Facebook to let me know how they enjoyed the story. I especially want to that those readers who have posted reviews on Amazon! I greatly appreciate you taking the time.

Okay, with that said, I did want to mention something I spoke about on Facebook. (I know a lot of you maybe aren’t on Facebook so I wanted to share this here as people are asking for an update and it’s easier doing it here.) Why are they asking? Because it’s about Honey of course. *shakes head* Here is the original post:

Things are very interesting around the house today. Honey is home and he’s doing laundry. >:0 I can’t wait to tell him what a phenomenal job he’s done – even if my clothes are ruined. Signed Riley who intends never to do laundry again in her life! *Shush* Don’t tell…

Well… *looks right at you* He did all the laundry and…? Sure, my blouse was shrunk, my jeans were left crinkled beyond being me simply re-fluffing them to wear, the socks didn’t match. *Tilts head at you* In fact, I found one in the garbage and had to ask.

“Babe why is this perfectly good sock in the trash?”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “Dryer ate the other one so its widow is toast.”

*Le sigh* I thought he was just trying to get me to complain, but then later I saw he’d used the match to effing stain one of the deck boards he’s planning to use to fix the secret patio decking! Dryer ate it, my ass! This is when it came to me that him doing the laundry could be somewhat of a challenge for me for other reasons than I thought. I’ll have to keep an eye out. That man!

*Pauses here to think for a moment and then remembers*

Oh, yeah. He also washed the whites first and used the automatic bleach dispenser. Then he washed our darks immediately afterward. I had to pull out the duct tape to keep quiet over that one. I’m totally amazed there wasn’t some problem with the dark load, but no. *wipes brow* there wasn’t. I will tell you what the whole experience was, though.

MUSICAL!

Between the loads being off balance so the machines pounded and shook to some jaunty tunes, and the shite he leaves in his pockets and apparently doesn’t care that they rattle around in the dryer? (I always stop the loads if I’ve missed something and collect the nuts, screws, morets, safety pins, batteries, tools, wallet, golf balls, golf tees, rubber bands, paper towels…Yeah, unfortunately, I could go one, but I won’t.) I couldn’t hear myself think straight. But I ask you. Did I complain?

NO WAY!

Heheheh. Guess who is out of laundry duty this weekend. Go on, I dare you. guess.

*Imagine me raising my arms in the air and twirling around as I fairly burst with joy* Me! Me! Me!

Right on. Oh, sure. I may be reduced to wearing my PJ’s to do the grocery shopping by Thursday but it will be worth it!

I shall keep you posted on this. And next up we’ll be adding to our build-a-giveaway. Stay tuned…

Thanks for stopping by!

Riley


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