It’s The Note Ghost!!!
You see that note card with my picture on the back? Well, I ordered some more author swag to give away, and I decided to do note cards too. On the front is the picture of one of my heroes and on the back is me with my webpage address. I don’t want to show the front because I want it to be a surprise for my blog contest winners this year. Anyways, I put all the neat stuff on the dining room table to show Honey like I usually do…only? I had the card facing out with the hero side visible. This is the conversation:
“How do you like my stuff?”
“Everything looks great. Even me.” He points to the card with the ripped guy on it and grins.
Me? Not grinning so much as I was over-nodding. “Oh, of course.”
Now he wasn’t grinning. “How would you like to do something for me?”
I should mention here I’m usually up for anything when Honey’s eyes sparkle, so I asked, “Here?”
“No.” He took my hand and pulled me along with him. “In your office.”
And there I am thinking, Right on, it’s been awhile since we’ve *cough, cough* polished the desk, when he walks me to the desk chair and indicates for me to sit in it.
*cups hand over mouth and summons the magic snow globe*
“You want me to sit here? Why?”
He leaned down bracing both hands on either side of me on the chair, and asked, “How else are you going to type and email the invoice I need sent to a client ASAP.”
There was more to that whinny conversation, but I like to keep the non-talking-about-sex-part of my posts clean. Besides, I have to get to the point of telling you about the notes. It would seem Honey doesn’t like visual competition around the house. Did I mention that I buy him a calendar every year for his office? A day planner that features sexy girls for him to look at whenever he wants? I do. Funny story about that here, but I digress. I left the note card on the table with the other swag overnight and the next morning when I walked by I noticed the card was turned around. Not that I don’t like looking at my own face, but you know, being treated to ripped male abs puts a little “pep” in my morning step, you know what I’m saying? So I turned the card back around. I was actually going to pick up all the swag stuff and pack it into my swag drawer, but now I had something to prove. I waited until Honey got home that day and I asked if he turned my note card around. He denied it. Worst part about that? I actually believed the sneaky bastard.
Unfortunately, I forgot to collect up my stuff that night, so it wasn’t until I walked by the table the next morning and saw the card turned back around that I knew the truth. He was turning my guy so I couldn’t see him. For the next three days we had the ghost war going on. I’d turn the perfect physique so I could see it when I walked by the table, and he’d turn it so I couldn’t. Neither one of us said anything about doing this. He never caught me and I never caught him until…
I turned my guy around this morning and Honey had done something really, really, bad. He used a black marker and drew my guy’s nipples to look like Groucho Marks eyes complete with the thick eyebrows!!! Bad enough, right? But then he went the extra mile – he gets brownie points for this one- he used one of the hero’s ab ripples (the one right over his belly-button) to fashion a mustache and his belly-button he made into a tiny mouth that looked like one of those caroler angels with lips in a perfect ‘0’.
*Holds up right hand*
I swear, right now I’m trying so hard not to get that black marker out of the kitchen drawer and go mess up his dirty girl calendar. Please talk me out of it.
*insert massive stewing here until the epiphany hits*
Oh, wait! I know what I can do. Messing up his current dirty girl would be so pedestrian, wouldn’t it? He’d be totally expecting me to do something like that. You’re right. I need to play this smarter. I’ll graffiti his October model. That’s my birthday month. What a great gift to myself in 2015 – seeing Honey’s face when he unveils his newest babe only to find out she’s missing a few teeth, sporting a couple of Frankenstein scars, and has hairy arm pits that look like she’s packing a head of broccoli under them.
Aw, the poor guy. He SO looks forward to the first day of every month to see what beauty awaits him when he flips the page…maybe I shouldn’t touch his calendar.
*Looks right at you and screams*
Joking! I am so doing it!!!
Riley – who couldn’t have come up with this brilliant plan without talking her way through it, so thanks for listening!