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The last thing this rough-around-the-edges guy wants to be is a Dom…until she calls him sir.
August 29th 2017

RELEASE DAY! BUILD A GIVEAWAY! AND A HONEY STORY! OH MY!!!

August 29, 2017

 

 

It’s release day!!!

So happy that Genevieve and Caleb are meeting the world! I love these guys!

I also love my gang, some of whom I spent the day with yesterday. Since my mom is visiting my sister for a couple of weeks, it was nice to hang out with my daughter and Honey for lunch. This is when we had the most interesting discussion…and by interesting, I mean hilarious.

It went something like this.

My daughter says, “Although it’s kind of nice to have a bit of a break, I miss nanny.”

Honey nods. and I say, “Yep, but she’ll be home soon enough for your weekly lunch dates.”

I say, “Yep, but she’ll be home soon enough for you guys to do your weekly lunch dates.”

(My daughter and her husband take grandma out to lunch once a week. Sometimes together and sometimes they switch off doing separately)

“We all can’t wait for that,” Honey said.The translation being. When

The translation being. When nanny is home it is a Godsend when the kids come up and take her out for the afternoon. Gives all of us some time to chill, you know? Not that my mom is tough to deal with, she’s just intense about whatever she’s doing. Right down to Judge Judy. If she can’t get that woman on TV – there is hell to pay, people! I swear. But I digress.

My daughter laughed. “You know? We were just talking about nanny last night and I decided that she’s Benjamin Buttoning it.”

There’s Honey and I doing the old big *blink, blink*.

Doesn’t faze her. “Seriously. Don’t you think she looks better today than she did first of the year?”

And there’s Me and Honey. Nodding. Thinking. Considering. Suspiciously going over the idea that had some merit now that the topic was put out there. But how was this possible?

It was as if my girl read my thoughts. “It could happen. I just finished Stephen Kings book about this old dude who gets younger living off the steam of the young.”

Honey sits back in such a way we both know she’s lost him. “Here we go.”

My daughter laughed again. “No, really, follow me here. You know those soul-crushers that nanny zings out on a regular basis?”

I should pause here for a moment. Have I mentioned my mother’s penchant for the left – and by left I mean extreme left-hand compliment with a big a side of a full nose sucker punch?

No?

*Shakes head* Don’t know how I missed telling y’all about this talent of hers. She doesn’t do it to me because she knows I’m immune, but to the kids? Oh, hell yeah! She wields that tricky elder card with a precision that would impress The Divine.

Example: She once said to my son-in-law. “You have nice hands. Can I see them?” When the poor guy held one out to her she turned it over, pursed her lips, and then said, “They don’t look like they’ve worked a day in this life.”

Nice.

When we call her on it – because we always do – she backtracks like the pro she is.

*Le sigh* You see? I do miss miss her…

But back to the conversation.

My daughter is practically crying laughing as she explains how her guy is convinced his lunches with nanny are literally sucking the fountain of youth steam out of him. Making nanny younger and causing him to reevaluate his world view while he shops for a fashionable walker.

I say, “Poor guy.”

And what does Honey say? “Jesus H. How long has he known? Don’t you think he could have told me?”

Both my girl and I stare at Honey, and that’s when he looks between us with this – I’d say serious, but it was more like a stricken expression before he growls. “That’s where these lines are coming from.”

I didn’t know about my girl, but I was pretty sure the laugh lines around his eyes definitely weren’t caused by my mom. I doubted they were even caused by age.

Nope.

Those suckers were totally me. One hundred percent.

My daughter? She wisely changed the subject and in no time at all we were on the safer topic of where we should go when we had a double date with her guy and her. The second she brought up this new studio down by her place that taught Salsa dancing? That’s when I knew the truth.

I may be working on etching those laugh lines on Honey’s face in this lifetime – but she had definitely claimed ownership of the worry ones across his forehead.

Haha!

Honey would dance all night with me providing the songs were slow and he knew them. (He likes to sing along) But fast and up-tempo tunes? Yeah, I’m on my own. Literally, because he was never one to let me dance with other guys.

Moral of this story? Appreciate the little stuff. Even a silly conversation about soul sucking and salsa dancing. ;D

Oh, and we’ve started a next big giveaway!

Here’s what we’re opening with. An Amazon 25.00 gift card!

 

 

 

 

 

There will be five items in total in the giveaway. Remember the rules. If you’re a subscriber you are already entered, but with each comment you leave on posts during the giveaway build your name gets entered again for more chances to win.

 

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley


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We Have A Winner!

August 7, 2017

We have the piggie salt and pepper shakers, the green apple candle, the Star Force game, Newman’s own mint tin, a dove dark chocolate bar (I added those two for the last items) and the Amazon gift card!

Gift Card Design

And the winner is????

*Insert drumroll here*

NYLaurie!!!

Congrats! I will email you with the details!

As always guys! Thanks for playing…

Riley


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So You Think A Little Poisoning Is Going To Stop Me?

August 2, 2017

 

That would be a big NOPE!

I actually wrote this post yesterday, but it disappeared, so imma going to rewrite it.

*Le sigh*

It probably won’t be as funny. Dammit!

I was telling you guys about my mom, Honey, me & the game show Jeopardy. We love watching the show with her because she thinks we’re great at it.

Which we’re not.

She does a big thumbs up or gushes over how smart we are when we get an answer.

Don’t ask.

The question, “Who’s buried in Grant’s tomb?”

I say Lou, and she says, “That’s great. Close, but it was Ulysses S.” 😉

Which is funny, you know? Because she’s serious and meh, now that I think about maybe I was too.

But the other night the question was about something like, What did so-and-so ride? Don’t quote me – but it was something like that. And I said something fabulous and innovative like “A horse.”

Mom clapped and gave me the nod. You see? She’s great for the ego, isn’t she?

Anyways, Honey said, “A beaver.”

And there’s me thinking he was whispering low because he was unsure of the answer…or? Hm. Given a moment to think about the answer I was like *Insert me tapping my index fingernail on my front tooth here*

I stopped tapping and turned to him. “A beaver?”

He gave me a look with eyes sparkling and said, “Yeah. Beaver.”

I was just about to shake my head when he added, “A man can ride that over and over again.”

Bah! I Laughed MAO!

Man, I’m sure the conversation was funnier two days ago when the details were fresh, but it still puts a smile on my face.

It even allowed us to segue into another fascinating conversation this morning. About what, you may ask? Another Jeopardy question. You see, last night I missed the final one so Honey put it out there.

The question was, “What structure did a creature build on earth that can be seen from space?”

There’s me without blinking once even, “A beaver dam! A damn beaver built a dam!”

He says, no and then I say, “The great wall of China.”

To which he gets this very superior look on his face and says, “It’s amazing. That’s what all three contestants said and they got it wrong. How arrogant is man that he always assumes man built the object – because in this case he didn’t.”

And there’s me blinking up a storm now thinking, hang on a minute. I said beaver. Beaver I said first. <- Catch my little Yoda ism there? Heheheh! When I point out to him that I gave beaver as my first answer he practically brushed me off and then he ended with something like, “You’re not the average person.”

Hmm…

His comment should have made me happy, but I somehow don’t think it was a compliment. 😉 *Thinks for a second and then brightens up* Of course it was a compliment. I’m delightful. 😉

Speaking of delightful. Guess what I had done? The city water guys where I live came and took water samples for bacteria in our drinking water (we have city water in the house). I’m interested to see what they find since they assured me that there was no arsenic in their water. That arsenic wasn’t a problem. That they tested for it quarterly. That they’d just recently tested for it. In fact, the test results were so good – that they were going to send them to me yesterday. *Shrugs* but they never did. So what did Riley do? She hopped on their website to have a look for those test results and what did she find?

A bid for arsenic to be removed from one of their water plant stations.

*Stares right at you and says in the same voice Gary would say this in, “Whatcha talking about Willis?*

Seriously?

It’s very rarely that I am shocked, but I was to see this buried on their site. So why don’t you all drum your fingers with me while I wait to see how long they get back to me about this and I can safeguard my family. Hopefully, when they confirm they will take the time to tell my neighbors. I’m hoping that this isolated since my home was on a dead end circuit that was recently corrected. I’d hate to think anyone else has gone through what I have.

I go to see a different doctor tomorrow and I’ve taken more vitamins (had a panel done and was really low on all kinds of things – crazy, never been that way before) but alas, I digress. The point I am trying to make here is this. Arsenic can kiss my *ss! I’m over it and the people who weren’t honest enough to tell me the truth when I poured my heart out to them after I called them about it.

Do ya think that Honey is over this? Yeah, don’t ask. My son? He wanted to take numbers. My daughter? She tackled things from her end so I feel kind of sorry for anyone she’s been in touch with. 😉

The worst part about all this is that it has affected my smoochie time with Honey. Which in turn has affected my creative energy – which has left you guys SOL for some Honey goldisms on the post page. Hopefully, once we turn this ship around, there will be huge nuggets to post about. 😀

With that in mind, I have two big requests.

If you know anyone who is feeling out of sorts. Maybe a little flu-like or can’t put a finger on it. If they have ear ringing, lightheadedness on occasion, a burning mouth or throat or if they find there are a lot of words hanging on the tip of their tongue but they can’t get them out – tell them about arsenic and have them get checked. It’s more prevalent than you think. Trust me.

And the last thing I would ask is, if you are into praying, please put in a good word for Honey and I. His tests haven’t come back yet, but the poor guy is so worried about me. I feel bad for him. 🙁 And, hey, if you’re not into praying – it’s all good. A positive thought or some high energy waves thrown our way would be awesome too!

Personally, I’ve covered the ball of wax! The only thing I haven’t done is an Indian rain dance because…well, quite frankly we have enough effing rain these days.

Hm. Maybe I should do a Riley sun dance.

*Stares right at you* That sounds just about as horrific as the visual was that came to me the second I typed it.

EEK!

No worries. I shan’t scare you off. There will be no dancing. *Insert me speaking like Moses in the Ten Commandments here* “So it be written, so it be done.”

Alrighty. *Rubs hands together and looks around* What else is left to say? Oh, I know. I I still haven’t decided what to add to our give away for our last item. Here’s a look at the stuff we already have so far. It’s pretty good stuff – so I have to find something that ties in with Caleb and Genevieve’s story to add to the pile. I’ll let you know what I come up with when I come up with it. Probably Friday – that’s when we’re doing the draw. Yay!

As always, thanks for stopping by.

Riley


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Arsenic and Oh, What A Case!

July 29, 2017

 

First things first. I’ll get the bad…or, in my case, sad over with before we get to the happy. A Honey story. Yay!

For those of you who’ve been following my blog for a while you know I’m fairly consistent when it comes to publishing books and doing posts, right? So you were probably wondering why I’ve been a little lax with both those endeavors over the past several months.

The short answer?

Arsenic poisoning.

*Looks right at you* It’s no joke. Here I am wondering why I was feeling so unlike myself and boom! One hair test later I find out I have a rather large problem. I nearly flipped when I got my very expensive and independent panel done. I was convinced that everything would check out. It’s no wonder when the lab called right away to tell me (that’s law by the way) I nearly passed out.

Honey, of course is freaking out. I haven’t seen the poor guy this distraught since I went into labor with our son. 😀

After I get all this figured out I will post the findings because I wouldn’t want anyone to through what I’ve been through over the last several months. *Raises a brow at you* But don’t worry. I have everything documented, just in case I need to write a big book about it someday. *Twirls that big mustache up there and releases a dirty laugh*

Here’s the family’s reaction:

Honey? He swore and then paced around like a caged lion. He went from being mad, upset, worried, to being mad all over again. We tested the water, and have done more research on the topic than you can imagine. So his answer? He’s going to brood about it until we have an answer.

My son? He simply said pack your bags you’re coming to live with us. <- Haha! I bet my daughter in-law would love that. Not! And I didn’t want to burst his bubble or anything, but nothing in our house has changed in 17 years – nothing major at any rate – so it’s not that. Meh, I’ll let him figure that out on his own.

My daughter? After she gave me a thousand different instructions…did I mention she’s a chip off the old Riley block? She’s been on a campaign to cheer me up. I don’t really know why or when she decided I needed cheering – because I don’t need any. Seriously, I’m still delightful. 😉 Anyways, it was one of her many attempts at making happy times for us that has prompted me to share this Honey conversation. This was last night.

Honey and I are watching a show and my cell sounds with a text.

Would you and dad like to go on a date night with us and do this?

I look at the image and it’s a mason jar filled with some amber colored liquid. Of course I take the time to read the info about it being a craft project of making one’s own body scrub, before I hold the phone out for Honey and say, “Girlie-girl wants us to double date. We’d be doing this.”

Honey’s eyes narrowed as he stared at my cell. Then his look narrowed even more when he said, “No thank you.”

My cell went off again and I knew who it was. Did I mention that my girl has the patience of a starving four-year-old in a candy store filled with everything she loves? No? True story.

Tell dad to stop frowning. If he does this with us, we’ll do this with him next time.

I look at the image attached and silently laughed my butt off. My girl knows her dad. It was a picture of a helicopter taking off for a joy ride. What a great bribe! I made sure to enlarge the image before I showed it to him.

“Alrighty. She says if you do the first one with us we’ll do this one with you next time.”

He leers at it, but even though he made like he wasn’t, I could tell he was interested. Before I could comment though, my phone sounded again.

Or, we could do this?

It was an image of some Kung-fu guys doing their thing. So I showed it to him, saying, “Third option.”

He made a face and then said, “Okay, I’ll agree to the first option, but I’m not drinking that slop.”

*Looks right at you* Swill back body scrub? DEE-LISH! NOT! Me thinks someone didn’t bother reading the info beneath the mason jar.

I laughed. “You don’t drink it. It’s a homemade body scrub.”

He gives me the side-eye and says, “You want me to scrub this temple with that slop?” He waved his hand down the length of his torso, and to say that I was gob smacked would have been an understatement.

What did I do?

I immediately texted my daughter to convey his snob-like conceit. Because, you know, it was funny. My daughter typed back, Haha, but her significant other laughed his butt off and texted:

Haha, Yeah, tell him it cleans from the inside out!

Aww, poor Honey. He really looks wiped. He’s so worried about this other situation, I guess mostly because we don’t know where it’s coming from – that he’s ready to set up cameras and hire a security detail.

I was like, “Hm, let’s not. I highly doubt the environment needs to be watched. Maybe I should just start wearing shoes when I hang out in the lanai.”

Nah…that would be too easy. 😉

So, I think we should call this the last post before Permit Me releases! How about we do our giveaway this coming Friday? Post comments and I’ll tally. We’ll have a winner announced then! Can’t wait!!!

Oh, and I might add something mid-week so make sure you check back if you’re not a subscriber – although I don’t know why you wouldn’t be because you get an extra change to win the epic giveaways!

As always thanks for stopping by!

Riley…who’s looking for some old lace to go with my current problem. 0.0

Crap, I forgot to tell you what my mom said when I gave her the news. She waved me off and did the big tsk, tsk, tsk before she said, “You’ve been eating too many apple seeds.”

Me? Oh, hell yes, I was blinking. Blinking so fast I nearly passed out. Who eats apple

seeds? Not this girl. Hence the big mystery. 

Cheers! to me finding the cause.

 


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