RELEASE DAY! BUILD A GIVEAWAY! AND A HONEY STORY! OH MY!!!

 

 

It’s release day!!!

So happy that Genevieve and Caleb are meeting the world! I love these guys!

I also love my gang, some of whom I spent the day with yesterday. Since my mom is visiting my sister for a couple of weeks, it was nice to hang out with my daughter and Honey for lunch. This is when we had the most interesting discussion…and by interesting, I mean hilarious.

It went something like this.

My daughter says, “Although it’s kind of nice to have a bit of a break, I miss nanny.”

Honey nods. and I say, “Yep, but she’ll be home soon enough for your weekly lunch dates.”

I say, “Yep, but she’ll be home soon enough for you guys to do your weekly lunch dates.”

(My daughter and her husband take grandma out to lunch once a week. Sometimes together and sometimes they switch off doing separately)

“We all can’t wait for that,” Honey said.The translation being. When

The translation being. When nanny is home it is a Godsend when the kids come up and take her out for the afternoon. Gives all of us some time to chill, you know? Not that my mom is tough to deal with, she’s just intense about whatever she’s doing. Right down to Judge Judy. If she can’t get that woman on TV – there is hell to pay, people! I swear. But I digress.

My daughter laughed. “You know? We were just talking about nanny last night and I decided that she’s Benjamin Buttoning it.”

There’s Honey and I doing the old big *blink, blink*.

Doesn’t faze her. “Seriously. Don’t you think she looks better today than she did first of the year?”

And there’s Me and Honey. Nodding. Thinking. Considering. Suspiciously going over the idea that had some merit now that the topic was put out there. But how was this possible?

It was as if my girl read my thoughts. “It could happen. I just finished Stephen Kings book about this old dude who gets younger living off the steam of the young.”

Honey sits back in such a way we both know she’s lost him. “Here we go.”

My daughter laughed again. “No, really, follow me here. You know those soul-crushers that nanny zings out on a regular basis?”

I should pause here for a moment. Have I mentioned my mother’s penchant for the left – and by left I mean extreme left-hand compliment with a big a side of a full nose sucker punch?

No?

*Shakes head* Don’t know how I missed telling y’all about this talent of hers. She doesn’t do it to me because she knows I’m immune, but to the kids? Oh, hell yeah! She wields that tricky elder card with a precision that would impress The Divine.

Example: She once said to my son-in-law. “You have nice hands. Can I see them?” When the poor guy held one out to her she turned it over, pursed her lips, and then said, “They don’t look like they’ve worked a day in this life.”

Nice.

When we call her on it – because we always do – she backtracks like the pro she is.

*Le sigh* You see? I do miss miss her…

But back to the conversation.

My daughter is practically crying laughing as she explains how her guy is convinced his lunches with nanny are literally sucking the fountain of youth steam out of him. Making nanny younger and causing him to reevaluate his world view while he shops for a fashionable walker.

I say, “Poor guy.”

And what does Honey say? “Jesus H. How long has he known? Don’t you think he could have told me?”

Both my girl and I stare at Honey, and that’s when he looks between us with this – I’d say serious, but it was more like a stricken expression before he growls. “That’s where these lines are coming from.”

I didn’t know about my girl, but I was pretty sure the laugh lines around his eyes definitely weren’t caused by my mom. I doubted they were even caused by age.

Nope.

Those suckers were totally me. One hundred percent.

My daughter? She wisely changed the subject and in no time at all we were on the safer topic of where we should go when we had a double date with her guy and her. The second she brought up this new studio down by her place that taught Salsa dancing? That’s when I knew the truth.

I may be working on etching those laugh lines on Honey’s face in this lifetime – but she had definitely claimed ownership of the worry ones across his forehead.

Haha!

Honey would dance all night with me providing the songs were slow and he knew them. (He likes to sing along) But fast and up-tempo tunes? Yeah, I’m on my own. Literally, because he was never one to let me dance with other guys.

Moral of this story? Appreciate the little stuff. Even a silly conversation about soul sucking and salsa dancing. ;D

Oh, and we’ve started a next big giveaway!

Here’s what we’re opening with. An Amazon 25.00 gift card!

 

 

 

 

 

There will be five items in total in the giveaway. Remember the rules. If you’re a subscriber you are already entered, but with each comment you leave on posts during the giveaway build your name gets entered again for more chances to win.

 

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley

So You Think A Little Poisoning Is Going To Stop Me?

 

That would be a big NOPE!

I actually wrote this post yesterday, but it disappeared, so imma going to rewrite it.

*Le sigh*

It probably won’t be as funny. Dammit!

I was telling you guys about my mom, Honey, me & the game show Jeopardy. We love watching the show with her because she thinks we’re great at it.

Which we’re not.

She does a big thumbs up or gushes over how smart we are when we get an answer.

Don’t ask.

The question, “Who’s buried in Grant’s tomb?”

I say Lou, and she says, “That’s great. Close, but it was Ulysses S.” 😉

Which is funny, you know? Because she’s serious and meh, now that I think about maybe I was too.

But the other night the question was about something like, What did so-and-so ride? Don’t quote me – but it was something like that. And I said something fabulous and innovative like “A horse.”

Mom clapped and gave me the nod. You see? She’s great for the ego, isn’t she?

Anyways, Honey said, “A beaver.”

And there’s me thinking he was whispering low because he was unsure of the answer…or? Hm. Given a moment to think about the answer I was like *Insert me tapping my index fingernail on my front tooth here*

I stopped tapping and turned to him. “A beaver?”

He gave me a look with eyes sparkling and said, “Yeah. Beaver.”

I was just about to shake my head when he added, “A man can ride that over and over again.”

Bah! I Laughed MAO!

Man, I’m sure the conversation was funnier two days ago when the details were fresh, but it still puts a smile on my face.

It even allowed us to segue into another fascinating conversation this morning. About what, you may ask? Another Jeopardy question. You see, last night I missed the final one so Honey put it out there.

The question was, “What structure did a creature build on earth that can be seen from space?”

There’s me without blinking once even, “A beaver dam! A damn beaver built a dam!”

He says, no and then I say, “The great wall of China.”

To which he gets this very superior look on his face and says, “It’s amazing. That’s what all three contestants said and they got it wrong. How arrogant is man that he always assumes man built the object – because in this case he didn’t.”

And there’s me blinking up a storm now thinking, hang on a minute. I said beaver. Beaver I said first. <- Catch my little Yoda ism there? Heheheh! When I point out to him that I gave beaver as my first answer he practically brushed me off and then he ended with something like, “You’re not the average person.”

Hmm…

His comment should have made me happy, but I somehow don’t think it was a compliment. 😉 *Thinks for a second and then brightens up* Of course it was a compliment. I’m delightful. 😉

Speaking of delightful. Guess what I had done? The city water guys where I live came and took water samples for bacteria in our drinking water (we have city water in the house). I’m interested to see what they find since they assured me that there was no arsenic in their water. That arsenic wasn’t a problem. That they tested for it quarterly. That they’d just recently tested for it. In fact, the test results were so good – that they were going to send them to me yesterday. *Shrugs* but they never did. So what did Riley do? She hopped on their website to have a look for those test results and what did she find?

A bid for arsenic to be removed from one of their water plant stations.

*Stares right at you and says in the same voice Gary would say this in, “Whatcha talking about Willis?*

Seriously?

It’s very rarely that I am shocked, but I was to see this buried on their site. So why don’t you all drum your fingers with me while I wait to see how long they get back to me about this and I can safeguard my family. Hopefully, when they confirm they will take the time to tell my neighbors. I’m hoping that this isolated since my home was on a dead end circuit that was recently corrected. I’d hate to think anyone else has gone through what I have.

I go to see a different doctor tomorrow and I’ve taken more vitamins (had a panel done and was really low on all kinds of things – crazy, never been that way before) but alas, I digress. The point I am trying to make here is this. Arsenic can kiss my *ss! I’m over it and the people who weren’t honest enough to tell me the truth when I poured my heart out to them after I called them about it.

Do ya think that Honey is over this? Yeah, don’t ask. My son? He wanted to take numbers. My daughter? She tackled things from her end so I feel kind of sorry for anyone she’s been in touch with. 😉

The worst part about all this is that it has affected my smoochie time with Honey. Which in turn has affected my creative energy – which has left you guys SOL for some Honey goldisms on the post page. Hopefully, once we turn this ship around, there will be huge nuggets to post about. 😀

With that in mind, I have two big requests.

If you know anyone who is feeling out of sorts. Maybe a little flu-like or can’t put a finger on it. If they have ear ringing, lightheadedness on occasion, a burning mouth or throat or if they find there are a lot of words hanging on the tip of their tongue but they can’t get them out – tell them about arsenic and have them get checked. It’s more prevalent than you think. Trust me.

And the last thing I would ask is, if you are into praying, please put in a good word for Honey and I. His tests haven’t come back yet, but the poor guy is so worried about me. I feel bad for him. 🙁 And, hey, if you’re not into praying – it’s all good. A positive thought or some high energy waves thrown our way would be awesome too!

Personally, I’ve covered the ball of wax! The only thing I haven’t done is an Indian rain dance because…well, quite frankly we have enough effing rain these days.

Hm. Maybe I should do a Riley sun dance.

*Stares right at you* That sounds just about as horrific as the visual was that came to me the second I typed it.

EEK!

No worries. I shan’t scare you off. There will be no dancing. *Insert me speaking like Moses in the Ten Commandments here* “So it be written, so it be done.”

Alrighty. *Rubs hands together and looks around* What else is left to say? Oh, I know. I I still haven’t decided what to add to our give away for our last item. Here’s a look at the stuff we already have so far. It’s pretty good stuff – so I have to find something that ties in with Caleb and Genevieve’s story to add to the pile. I’ll let you know what I come up with when I come up with it. Probably Friday – that’s when we’re doing the draw. Yay!

As always, thanks for stopping by.

Riley

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

 

Okay, so Honey and I were having one of our infamous chats about the universe and something interesting came up. Actually, *Looks right at you* several interesting things came to my attention, but I am going to focus in on just one.

An EMP attack of global proportions.

I know, deep, right?

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, it’s an Electromagnetic pulse attack that would basically wipe out our infrastructure. No electronics, no sewer, no electric, no water…yeah, no nuthin’ we’d be living like the cavemen in no time. *sigh* I hate to ponder about these things, but sometimes you have to.

*Thinks for a second* Then? *Points at you*

This doesn’t mean you can’t make the solution be one that is fun and uplifting to think about.

Honey calls this “my making Lemon meringue pie out of a watermelon moment”, but whatever.

So here’s the conversation:

I say, “You know I was thinking about imminent global threats today and this one came to me.”

“Oh boy.” He sat down and lifted a brow at me. “Am I going to need a drink, or will this just have me buying more life insurance?”

Haha! The latter was always a good idea. “No seriously. I was thinking about an EMP attack and it made very, very sad.”

Now both his brows went up. “I’d be devastated. No electronics? I’m the one who watches TV.”

Yeah, yeah, that was true, but for this conversation, I didn’t want to focus in on the fallout details. Hollywood and every Debbie downer on the planet had those things covered. I wanted to envision an upside to the end game of this kind of attack – any kind of attack actually. So I said this to him and funny enough – he was interested.

“An upside to societal breakdown? I gotta hear this and don’t tell me Batman arrives to save the day or that aliens land and stop the war.” He shook his head. “And don’t frown. I know you too well so I know how your writer’s mind works.”

*Raises my hand to you and acknowledges, guilty! I’m always inventing possible plot scenarios that cover just about any outlandish or fanciful thing* NOT that I was going to admit this to him. 😉 “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Pay attention. Imagine if you will—”

“Here we go,” he interrupted. *Le sigh* He’s such a guy.

“As I was saying. You know that stuff about Free Will I’ve been talking about? Well, suppose that’s the cosmic key to the universe? That earth is a Free Will zone and every life on earth only needs to claim it. I mean we give our will up to the government, banks, doctors, attorneys, lawyers, judges, police, military and don’t get me started on the IRS—”

“No fear of that. I want dinner tonight and we know what happens to those plans when you start talking about their 20 million dollar Star Wars extravaganza.”

“Great! Thanks for reminding me about that. It ties in with what I would do if an EMP attacked happened or was going to happen.”

He sat forward and tilted his head. “Happened? Are you going to shoot that BS about multi-dimensional universes and time travel and pirates and outer worldly vultures who you think have preyed on mankind long enough?”

“Abso-freaking-lutely!”

“I should have poured myself a drink.”

I waved him off and then launched into my brilliant and yet simple plan for the world. “Imagine this.” I have to become animated here or he stares at me like he’s watching paint peel. “There’s those in power who know how the game works – they’ve reached the end of the deck, they’ve played the Trump card and they still don’t like where this is going so they decide to do the EMP attack on America because it’s the world economy really—”

“No, it’s not.”

You see what he does? He cuts into my roll.

I scowl at him. “It’s the biggest consumer economy. Is that better?”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, being that it’s a game, and all have to participate to make it work, the power brokers have decided to jump start things with this kind of attack because their default position is always to create fear. BUT and this is a big but, there are too many people who are onto them. Ten years ago they may have pulled it off easily, but not so well now. Why? Because the swell of THE PEOPLE who are onto them decide to hold them financially responsible for what they’ve done to not only our country – but the entire world. We put our foot down and say that’s enough you have to pay up. We put such an astronomical number on the fine that they will all be broke for the rest of eternity.”

“That sounds pretty predictable to me. Wouldn’t they ignore you?”

“Us you mean. It’s a big collective and no. You see when you claim your FREE WILL they have no power over you in your past lives or future lives. You are no longer an earning product for them so they are without a means to make and attract tradable things of value for the rest of time. But you didn’t let me finish. What if we as a collective say to all those that disrupt and corrupt our planet that they can keep what they so far have collected – providing they didn’t steal or misappropriate those things of value – only if they leave this planet for good without any war, EMP attacks or nuclear attacks. Then THE PEOPLE would be free to live the way they were meant to live on this planet.”

He was silent for a second or two and then he whispered, “I don’t know how you do it.”

There’s me basking in the compliment thinking that I’d just come up with a plausible way to save the planet from the negative energy that is dragging our society down when he added.

“How do you sleep at night with all that crap rolling around in your head?”

Crap?

Rolling?

Nothing rolls around in my head, there’s no room. Every square inch is taken up by random and not so random thoughts – I assure you. To him, I said, “It’s easy. I figure somewhere out there in this sky or the galaxy above, the Creator of Souls is listening to me. And, being that he’s the gifter of FREE WILL he will see the sense in this plan. The only fly in the proverbial “Save the Universe” oil?”

“What?”

“Is that stubborn people like you will look at me like you are now when I tell them.”

That’s when he smiled. A big, bright, smile that reached his eyes. “If I thought something like this was possible, you know I’d be all over it.”

“Sometimes you have to rely on faith alone.”

“I prefer reality.”

And I would have preferred to toss one of the envelopes on the table at him, but, *insert a deep breath here* I smiled back at him instead. Talking through my teeth I told him, “I choose to believe. This is why you and I make such a great pair. The more you deny the possibility of such a thing happening, the more I believe it will happen.”

His eyes widened and he smacked the table. “Unreal. You take the possibility of averting a dramatic fictional cosmic catastrophe and turn it into a husband smack down in the turn of one sentence.”

“Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment because doing so requires finesse and talent, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” His smile eased and he sat back. “What would happen if I had taken what you said and embraced it as being possible from the get-go?”

I took a millisecond to think that over and then I didn’t even blink. “I’d suggest you head over to the doctor’s for a check-up. Clearly you’d be sick. I thought we’d already decided decades ago that I was here to save your soul? If you agreed at face value I would consider my job here done.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m glad you’re not the average Joe. I want more people like me to see that this world has some phenomenal secrets. There’s a special kind of magic and right now most of it is being corrupted by people who don’t have the heart or soul to wield it with grace and goodness.”

“Now.” He pointed at me as he nodded. “That I believe.”

You see? Honey does come around. It just takes a special way to deliver the message to him.

*Thinks about that for less than a millisecond when the epiphany comes to me*

Damn, he would have listened to me proclaiming to be the Virgin Mary if I delivered the message sans clothes. *Insert the action of a finger snap here* I wish I had thought of that tactic sooner. It would have saved me some grief. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell him this without stressing him out too much. 😀

So…Anyone else have any great ideas on how to save the planet? The caveat has to be that we get rid of the bad guys who have screwed things up to a fair thee well AND whatever attack they were planning in the first place has to be adverted.

Heheheh. Here’s me with my author mind thinking, if we missed averting the catastrophe we could always bend time and put us back to the moment it happened and stop it from happening. I didn’t mention this to Honey because he has enough to worry about. Did I mention that I’ve got the poor guy fixing the electric/cable stuff in our house? Doesn’t sound so bad, but you have to remember our stuff is in the attic and it’s a cabillion degrees here. I sent him up there a few days ago and forgot to stick around the ladder to make sure he didn’t expire up there.

My bad!

Actually, I felt terrible when he came into the nice cool kitchen looking like he’d just gone for a swim. Poor guy.

As always, thanks for stopping by! And don’t forget to give me a great solution to our save the world challenge – Remember, the key is FREE WILL – Start there and then the person who comes up with the funniest or most creative method to banish the negative and criminal energy from the planet will get their name added three additional times to the big drawing we still haven’t done.

Geez…Caleb and Genevieve are a year older. Boy, do I need to get their story finished!!!!

Riley

A Night Spent With Honey That I Shall Memorialize!

 

I had to share. This had me LMAO!

Okay, so here’s the deal. We’ve had a boatload of company lately hence the slow blog posts being published – but we’re having fun with family so it’s all good. Anyways, Honey and I rented a pontoon boat and took the gang to a beautiful natural spring a few hours from where we live. We got to see/swim with all kinds of great wildlife (Lots of manatees) birds, fish, etc.

It was a wonderful day. Seriously. Great company and beautiful weather. So, when the day was over I was ready to fall into bed. Only? Honey was standing at the double doors to our room waiting for me.

*Looks right at you*

Honey doesn’t usually do this. We have a routine, you know? And this wasn’t part of it. So when I see him, here’s the conversation.

“Hey, is everything okay? What’s up?”

“I’m waiting.”

I shut the blinds on one of the sliders and ask, “For?”

“You. You gotta see this.”

So there I am heading into our room thinking the poochie, who has her own king-size doggie bed that I fluff for her every <- yes, you read that right! EVERY night, but the poochie princess wasn’t the issue as she was snuggled in waiting for mommy to tuck her into her top blanket.

Spoiled? Don’t ask. But I digress…

I stopped when I got into the room and saw that Honey hadn’t undressed. There I was thinking, Hmm…I bet I know where this is going. Inwardly I smiled and had that female attitude vibe happening when I coyly ask, “Okay, lover, what’s up?”

He flashes one of his patented smiles and says, “This.”

That’s when he takes off his shirt and I see the front of him. No word of a lie, people. He’s as red as a delicious apple from his broad shoulders to hips he’s one huge fireball. “Oh, boy.” I may have said that, but I was thinking, “Good, Lord, do we have some Noxzema in the house?”

I was just about to go find out when he announces in a deep and very husky voice, “Tonight, darlin’, you’ll be sleeping with Hellboy.”

Hahaha! True in every sense of the word. Actually, truer would have been Furnace-Boy – holy moly was he a bastion of boiling heat all night. *Le sigh* I found myself hugging the edge of the bed to keep away from the flames. Funny thing was, I kept teasing him during the day on the boat because he’d put the sunscreen on so thickly all over himself, he looked like Casper the ghost until the lotion was absorbed. How the heck did he wind up lobsta-red???

Crazy.

Upside? We now have enough money to visit all seven celestial planets at the end of the year on account of the swear jar being filled to overflowing. Between Honey and all my guests? Yup, I’ve been making out like a bandit on that score. 😉

So… *Looks around* How’s everyone doing? Good?

I’m looking forward to a week of carrying the pooch outside to go pee. I love having company, but my poor baby gets so depressed when our guests leave that she can’t drag herself out to handle nature’s call. Honey is convinced I’ve cultivated this behavior in our fur-baby, but I don’t think so. I mean, if I were inclined to cultivate anything in her it would be for her to learn how to do laundry.

*Lifts a brow at you*

Have I mentioned how much I hate doing laundry? And here I am today, knee deep in dirty sheets and towels. Yay!

Check back towards the end of the week when I’ll be doing our final addition to our giveaway before the big draw. I feel like PERMIT ME has taken a year to write – but hey, it will be worth it, I promise.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

*Smooches*

Riley

Honey, Honey, Honey. HONEY!

Okay, when reading that title you’re supposed to sing it to the tune of, Money, money, money. Money!

Why?

Because Honey is priceless. 😉

Example?

Absolutely, I’m so glad you asked.

Imagine me and Honey lying next to each other in bed. The two of us are staring at the ceiling in the dark, when he whispers, “Are you sleeping?”

*Looks right at you* WTH? We just got into bed, so unless he laced my water with Rohypnol, or knocked me over the head with a brick…? “Nope.”

“Can I ask you something about space? And, I’m begging you, babe, please don’t go off on the topic about how you think we’ve been played by NASA and there’s more going on in our universe than the Space guys are telling us, okay?”

*And now I’m staring owl-eyed at you –kicking my feet in frustration because you guys know me well enough to know that this will never happen without a huge amount of restraint on my part.*

I take a deep breath and deliver the biggest lie ever. “Sure.”

“Ready?”

Honey’s so cute. “Shoot.”

Do you think getting it on in zero gravity would be better than in regular old gravity? Say, an intense vertical floating-in-limbo Mumba for hours?”

I invoke the mighty snow globe here!

Bah! You see? This is why I love Honey. Instead of me launching into the oodles of bones I have to pick with NASA over them “just now” finding seven planets – SEVEN planets! So what? Did they all of a sudden remember to dust off their Hubble telescope? — but yep, I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. Instead of talking about being ripped off, I was lying there trying to work out the logistics of Honey’s brilliant question. Any of you guys ever thought of space in those terms? Yes? No? Whatcha think about that major 7 planet discovery? Here’s the link if you didn’t see it on the news. Inquiring mind wants to know.

Now for the continuation of our build-a-giveaway. This is what we’ve got so far. (click here) to view.

And this is what we’re adding.

It’s a great game to play with adults and kids. You have to drop the metal ball into the best planet spot. It’s not easy. My suggestion? Buy some cheap scratch-off lottery tickets and challenge the kids to compete to win one them. *Leans in to whisper* If you don’t have the kids for the night? No problem. Sometimes Honey and I play games like this for other kinds of prizes.

*Taps index fingernail on front tooth and thinks not at all* Ah…like the loser has to do all the winners chores the next day.

*Bursts out laughing and lifts a brow at you*

Like I’d every play that game. ‘Nuff said.

Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m still thinking about that zero gravity hook-up. Talk about out of this world!

Exciting times, right? 7 new planets! Have you seen any of NASA’s patches? Interestingly enough, there are 7 stars/planets on them dating back to the 60’s, but I promised Honey I wasn’t going to “go there”. One question, though. I know. Sorry. I can’t help myself.

Were the patch makers psychic or was it a major coinkydink with the 7? Yeah, yeah, I told you, I drive Honey nuts. Fortunately, that fits right in with my evil plans on how I want to spend the rest of my days here on earth. Sucks to be him, poor guy. >:D

Here are a few of the patches. See what I mean?

Wow, it’s been too long. I’ve missed you guys!

Alrighty, you know the drill. If you are a subscriber you’re already entered into the drawing, but if you leave a comment on all the “build-a-giveaway posts” (I think we’re at three and should go to five so keep checking back) your name gets added to the hat for the drawing. With each additional comment. More chances to win. Yay.

Good luck!

My thought for today given that we’re talking about space? I believe the majority of people on this planet prefer to live in a peaceful world, so let’s remove the obstacles and get it done!

So exciting! I understand there are many more innovative technologies to be released over the next few years. Don’t know how they’ll stack up to Honey’s 7 minutes in inertia heaven idea, but I’m thrilled at the prospect, non-the-less.

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley