WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

 

Okay, so Honey and I were having one of our infamous chats about the universe and something interesting came up. Actually, *Looks right at you* several interesting things came to my attention, but I am going to focus in on just one.

An EMP attack of global proportions.

I know, deep, right?

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, it’s an Electromagnetic pulse attack that would basically wipe out our infrastructure. No electronics, no sewer, no electric, no water…yeah, no nuthin’ we’d be living like the cavemen in no time. *sigh* I hate to ponder about these things, but sometimes you have to.

*Thinks for a second* Then? *Points at you*

This doesn’t mean you can’t make the solution be one that is fun and uplifting to think about.

Honey calls this “my making Lemon meringue pie out of a watermelon moment”, but whatever.

So here’s the conversation:

I say, “You know I was thinking about imminent global threats today and this one came to me.”

“Oh boy.” He sat down and lifted a brow at me. “Am I going to need a drink, or will this just have me buying more life insurance?”

Haha! The latter was always a good idea. “No seriously. I was thinking about an EMP attack and it made very, very sad.”

Now both his brows went up. “I’d be devastated. No electronics? I’m the one who watches TV.”

Yeah, yeah, that was true, but for this conversation, I didn’t want to focus in on the fallout details. Hollywood and every Debbie downer on the planet had those things covered. I wanted to envision an upside to the end game of this kind of attack – any kind of attack actually. So I said this to him and funny enough – he was interested.

“An upside to societal breakdown? I gotta hear this and don’t tell me Batman arrives to save the day or that aliens land and stop the war.” He shook his head. “And don’t frown. I know you too well so I know how your writer’s mind works.”

*Raises my hand to you and acknowledges, guilty! I’m always inventing possible plot scenarios that cover just about any outlandish or fanciful thing* NOT that I was going to admit this to him. 😉 “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Pay attention. Imagine if you will—”

“Here we go,” he interrupted. *Le sigh* He’s such a guy.

“As I was saying. You know that stuff about Free Will I’ve been talking about? Well, suppose that’s the cosmic key to the universe? That earth is a Free Will zone and every life on earth only needs to claim it. I mean we give our will up to the government, banks, doctors, attorneys, lawyers, judges, police, military and don’t get me started on the IRS—”

“No fear of that. I want dinner tonight and we know what happens to those plans when you start talking about their 20 million dollar Star Wars extravaganza.”

“Great! Thanks for reminding me about that. It ties in with what I would do if an EMP attacked happened or was going to happen.”

He sat forward and tilted his head. “Happened? Are you going to shoot that BS about multi-dimensional universes and time travel and pirates and outer worldly vultures who you think have preyed on mankind long enough?”

“Abso-freaking-lutely!”

“I should have poured myself a drink.”

I waved him off and then launched into my brilliant and yet simple plan for the world. “Imagine this.” I have to become animated here or he stares at me like he’s watching paint peel. “There’s those in power who know how the game works – they’ve reached the end of the deck, they’ve played the Trump card and they still don’t like where this is going so they decide to do the EMP attack on America because it’s the world economy really—”

“No, it’s not.”

You see what he does? He cuts into my roll.

I scowl at him. “It’s the biggest consumer economy. Is that better?”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, being that it’s a game, and all have to participate to make it work, the power brokers have decided to jump start things with this kind of attack because their default position is always to create fear. BUT and this is a big but, there are too many people who are onto them. Ten years ago they may have pulled it off easily, but not so well now. Why? Because the swell of THE PEOPLE who are onto them decide to hold them financially responsible for what they’ve done to not only our country – but the entire world. We put our foot down and say that’s enough you have to pay up. We put such an astronomical number on the fine that they will all be broke for the rest of eternity.”

“That sounds pretty predictable to me. Wouldn’t they ignore you?”

“Us you mean. It’s a big collective and no. You see when you claim your FREE WILL they have no power over you in your past lives or future lives. You are no longer an earning product for them so they are without a means to make and attract tradable things of value for the rest of time. But you didn’t let me finish. What if we as a collective say to all those that disrupt and corrupt our planet that they can keep what they so far have collected – providing they didn’t steal or misappropriate those things of value – only if they leave this planet for good without any war, EMP attacks or nuclear attacks. Then THE PEOPLE would be free to live the way they were meant to live on this planet.”

He was silent for a second or two and then he whispered, “I don’t know how you do it.”

There’s me basking in the compliment thinking that I’d just come up with a plausible way to save the planet from the negative energy that is dragging our society down when he added.

“How do you sleep at night with all that crap rolling around in your head?”

Crap?

Rolling?

Nothing rolls around in my head, there’s no room. Every square inch is taken up by random and not so random thoughts – I assure you. To him, I said, “It’s easy. I figure somewhere out there in this sky or the galaxy above, the Creator of Souls is listening to me. And, being that he’s the gifter of FREE WILL he will see the sense in this plan. The only fly in the proverbial “Save the Universe” oil?”

“What?”

“Is that stubborn people like you will look at me like you are now when I tell them.”

That’s when he smiled. A big, bright, smile that reached his eyes. “If I thought something like this was possible, you know I’d be all over it.”

“Sometimes you have to rely on faith alone.”

“I prefer reality.”

And I would have preferred to toss one of the envelopes on the table at him, but, *insert a deep breath here* I smiled back at him instead. Talking through my teeth I told him, “I choose to believe. This is why you and I make such a great pair. The more you deny the possibility of such a thing happening, the more I believe it will happen.”

His eyes widened and he smacked the table. “Unreal. You take the possibility of averting a dramatic fictional cosmic catastrophe and turn it into a husband smack down in the turn of one sentence.”

“Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment because doing so requires finesse and talent, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” His smile eased and he sat back. “What would happen if I had taken what you said and embraced it as being possible from the get-go?”

I took a millisecond to think that over and then I didn’t even blink. “I’d suggest you head over to the doctor’s for a check-up. Clearly you’d be sick. I thought we’d already decided decades ago that I was here to save your soul? If you agreed at face value I would consider my job here done.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m glad you’re not the average Joe. I want more people like me to see that this world has some phenomenal secrets. There’s a special kind of magic and right now most of it is being corrupted by people who don’t have the heart or soul to wield it with grace and goodness.”

“Now.” He pointed at me as he nodded. “That I believe.”

You see? Honey does come around. It just takes a special way to deliver the message to him.

*Thinks about that for less than a millisecond when the epiphany comes to me*

Damn, he would have listened to me proclaiming to be the Virgin Mary if I delivered the message sans clothes. *Insert the action of a finger snap here* I wish I had thought of that tactic sooner. It would have saved me some grief. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell him this without stressing him out too much. 😀

So…Anyone else have any great ideas on how to save the planet? The caveat has to be that we get rid of the bad guys who have screwed things up to a fair thee well AND whatever attack they were planning in the first place has to be adverted.

Heheheh. Here’s me with my author mind thinking, if we missed averting the catastrophe we could always bend time and put us back to the moment it happened and stop it from happening. I didn’t mention this to Honey because he has enough to worry about. Did I mention that I’ve got the poor guy fixing the electric/cable stuff in our house? Doesn’t sound so bad, but you have to remember our stuff is in the attic and it’s a cabillion degrees here. I sent him up there a few days ago and forgot to stick around the ladder to make sure he didn’t expire up there.

My bad!

Actually, I felt terrible when he came into the nice cool kitchen looking like he’d just gone for a swim. Poor guy.

As always, thanks for stopping by! And don’t forget to give me a great solution to our save the world challenge – Remember, the key is FREE WILL – Start there and then the person who comes up with the funniest or most creative method to banish the negative and criminal energy from the planet will get their name added three additional times to the big drawing we still haven’t done.

Geez…Caleb and Genevieve are a year older. Boy, do I need to get their story finished!!!!

Riley

You Gave Me A Rating Of One Star? WTF?!!!!

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Never mind that I worked hard.

I tried my best.

I sweated.

Toiled.

Cursed occasionally.

But?

I hung in there and that should have counted, right?

RIGHT?

*Insert me putting my hands in the air in defeat here* Because all that stuff I previously mentioned isn’t right. At least not according to Honey. You see, he didn’t care whether I stood out in a hundred and fifty degree heat holding his stupid wood. *Wags a finger at you* Not the good wood either. I know what you’re thinking. But alas, this was actual wood that he measured and cut on the back deck with his huge table saw for the valance box I designed for our bedroom.

My job was simple. Hold the panel stable and when I finished doing that, and after I was salt and peppered with sawdust, he laughed his ass off. Then my job was to keep the valance box steady while he screwed it up over our bedroom slider. *Looks right at you* He took his time, guys. Which, you know, wouldn’t have been so bad if I was six feet tall. Hell, if I was five and a half feet tall I wouldn’t have had to stand on my tip-toes. But there I was. Teetering. And what did he do when I complained? He took his sweet time getting to putting those screws in.

Seriously.

Here’s the conversation.

Me being not patient at all. “Could you hurry up with the screws? My arms are aching.”

Him being very patient. “I’m going as fast as I can. At least you’re not frying out in that hundred and fifty degree heat for five whole minutes.”

Side-eyes you. Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have complained about that inconvenience so loudly. It wasn’t exactly a hundred and fifty degrees and my five minutes was nothing to his most of the day. But still, I felt I needed to warn him.

“I’m going to drop it.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am.”

“No.”

Did I mention the guy can aggravate the frigging crap out of me in a millisecond when he wants to? Today he definitely wanted to. So I decide to change the course of the argument. Clearly, I wasn’t going to win this one.

It was time to put him on the defensive. “What did you do to my navy blue towels?”

Finally, he used his screw gun and zipped in a screw. Bingo. He didn’t want to talk about the wrecked terry…but I did.

“You know, a strange thing happened. After my shower yesterday when I got out and wrapped one of those blue towels around me, I nearly cut myself.”

He screwed in the second screw so that the one side was secured and then came and took the valance box weight from me. *Hikes a brow at you* Hm. Oddly enough, he still hadn’t answered my question.

I didn’t move. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you did to them?”

He looked down and it was almost comical. I was standing right at his underarm while he was looking guilty as sin. “I don’t have any idea.” No wonder he was looking guilty. He was lying through his teeth, so I decided to help him out.

“No idea, huh? Let me put it to you this way. When I exfoliate I like to do that under the shower spray. Not when I get out of the shower and I’m drying myself off with one of my good towels. What did you get all over them? Concrete?”

*Points right at you* I’m not exaggerating here when I say my soft beach size towels had hardened  balls and smears of stone-type crap all over them.

The bugger grinned and I really got mad because the action made me not want to be mad at him at all. But then he said, “Not concrete. Drywall compound.”

*Tilts head at you* Like there’s a difference?

“Do you know how much those towels cost?”

“No, Riley, I do not.” He turned his attention to getting the last two screws fastened and I heard him mumble, “But you’re probably going to tell me.”

Oh hell, yeah I was. “Twenty-eight dollars each.” I pulled that sum right out of thin air purposely making it an odd amount, in the hopes that hitting him in the wallet would cause him to think twice about grabbing any kind of a towel out of the folded laundry and taking it to work with him to be ruined anytime the mood struck him.

He grunted, so I had to add.

“And that was when they were on sale. They aren’t any more so you’ll be paying full price for them when you replace them. Hey.” I stepped back and took a gander. “The valance box looks great! 5 stars.”

“Thanks. And you get a one.”

I shot a look at him. “Star?”

He nodded. “You started at five today but I subtracted one every time you complained. Therefore it’s one star for you today, babe.”

I was just about to open my mouth and tell him what I thought about that, but he annoyingly held up his drill in front of his mouth as if the drill bit was his index finger in the age old signal for me to be quiet.

I blinked and then scowled, when he said, “You have one star left. I wouldn’t want you to lose it.”

*Turns to look at you* Can you believe this guy?

*Shakes head*

Tomorrow we start building the closet. Can’t. Wait.

I will leave you with this. Yesterday Honey and I had a discussion about a towel hook for our master bath. I know, it’s just a hook, but it’s really not. It will have a prominent placement in the space and I was trying to be nice when I included Honey in the choice. Normally I just purchase the items and then say, “Hang this there, please.”

Well? I should have known better. He looked at all my choices (there were some really great ones. A huge cast iron whale tail? Come on, how cute is that?) and he turned his nose up at all of them. Then he points to one on the screen and asks, “How about that one?”

The one in question was a frigging plain old hook. You could even see where the screws were that held it together and where they would go on the wall once it was up. If that wasn’t bad enough it was two dollars and the caption actually read “Hook for garage storage.”

When I innocently pointed out that all his taste was in his mouth and he made some really, really, rude suggestion about what I could do with my mouth, LMAO over that one, I told him to quit with the dirty talking and to be serious. We needed to find something that was unique and functional. To which he said, “I’m not the designer. Knock yourself out. Buy whatever you want, and I’ll hang it.”

So what did I do? Why I simply decided to take him at his word. I can’t wait until he gets a load of this.

Resin-Middle-Finger-Wall-Hook-d2cce210-3913-4548-8f40-1874876360e9_600

Bahahahaha! I bought it and this is going to be our new towel/robe hook in our nicely remodeled bathroom. Do you like it?

I am so bad! But hey, I think this one will make a statement and look good. And if it’s nice quality this hook may find its way into one of my giveaways!!! I’ll be posting about the next one soon. 🙂

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley

Good Morning Dr. Freud, you caged what now?

domestic dispute

Holy Mackerel! I have no idea how this happened…or even why, but I’m scared. *Tilts head to the side and thinks not at all for a second* Nah, I’m no chicken-licken. I’m more amused than anything else. Check this out.

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been on a fast-track. Between Honey, the remodel, and some past clients I adore holding me hostage until I finally agreed to work with them, I’ve been busy. Very busy. So it’s no wonder I’ve been dreaming a lot. *Shrug* Hey, when I can’t put the words down on paper they get acted out in my dreams I suppose.

What does this mean? Well, I’ll tell you. I usually wind up explaining the dream to Honey when we have our morning coffee. And then the fun begins. I hear things like:

“That dream could not be any clearer to me. You’re a control freak so…”

Right. Forgot about that. Not! Next day?

“You dreamt of that because your mother is having a hard time…”

Okay, he had a point there. Maybe I should listen to him. Next day when I tell him about my dream from the night before?

“Simple. You’re in tough negotiations and you like to win…”

That’s it. The man is an oracle who I need to definitely listen to. Next day when I shared my slumber images what did he expound upon?

“We watched that part in the dirty movie…” <- I have no idea where that came from. I’d been telling him about the dream I had where I was fighting with someone in a grocery store.

“Excuse me?”

“The woman with the whipped cream all over…”

*Looks right at you and scowls before I snap back to glare at him* “I didn’t see a show like that recently.”

“Oh, my bad.” <- Notice he didn’t admit that he had because clearly, he had! He looks at me as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, and asks, “Where was I?”

I deadpanned. “One foot on a banana peel and the other foot squarely planted in marital discord. How come I didn’t get to watch the whip cream movie?”

I was kidding, but he wasn’t when he suggested he stop at the grocery store after work and pick up some Rediwhip so he could help me reenact the burned-in-his-memory scene.

*Le sigh* A few days later I stupidly shared another dream I had. It was like he’d been waiting for me to spill so he could analyze it.

“You’re like the energizer bunny when you want something.” In the dream I’d been planting a tree. So I was just about to ask how that related when he gave me the smexxy look, and said, “I happen to like a little rabbit. One that vibrates. You?” I might have thought he was talking about the animal if he didn’t pair that question with popping his brows up and down so many times I thought he was having a seizure. *Shakes head* Men!

After I tackle him on this. He isn’t fazed.

“Don’t you see, babe? You’re direct and get right to the point. More importantly, you don’t mind getting down and dirty.” *Looks right at you* Why, you may ask? Because his eyes had gone dark and they were sparkling when he’d said this. Annnd, we all know what that means.

Again. Men! “It’s all about sex with you isn’t?”

“No. No,” he said more firmly and even shook his head. “What I’m trying to tell you is that you’re very strong.” I made the mistake of feeling a little a better about all this until he added, “So strong, in fact, I’m confident you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose in less than twenty seconds.” *Spits out coffee all over the table and then beats chest as I turn to look at you* The man is ridiculous, isn’t he? All I’d said this time was that I had a dream about sharks. *insert the mighty snow globe here* (I’d like to, but it has been stolen – boo-hiss to the thief. He’s having a bad day today I can feel it as I wave my bad juju wand in his direction).

Honey never missed a beat. He continued to analyze my dream using metaphors so freaking outrageous I had to laugh. So, um, yeah, I was inspired to call him Sigmund.

Which brings me to this morning’s conversation. Not about dreams because I’d given up sharing those with him. Can you blame me? What we were discussing was the cage that Honey had put out in the lanai to trap the rabbit that was sneaking into our screened in patio area and littering it with his little marble…well, it wasn’t chocolate kisses he was leaving for us, I’ll tell you that. Honey figured if he trapped the bunny in the cage and then released it in the morning on the other side of the fence surrounding our property, the little guy wouldn’t come into the lanai area ever again.Of course he didn’t know that I’ve been throwing baby carrots – Hansel and Gretel style – away from the screen enclosure hoping to redirect Peter from hopping his little tail into the lanai, and we’re not going to tell him, right? Honey doesn’t like the critters being fed too close to the house. Remember when he had to save Steven King from the hawk? That was surprising, wasn’t it?

Sound plan.

Of course, he didn’t know that I’ve been throwing baby carrots – Hansel and Gretel style – away from the screen enclosure hoping to redirect Peter from hopping his little tail into the lanai, and we’re not going to tell him, right? Honey doesn’t like the critters being fed too close to the house. Remember when he had to save Steven King from the hawk? That was surprising, wasn’t it?

Anyways, it did strike me as funny when Honey asked, “Did you have another dream about controlling the world last night? Something I can interpret for you that will put your mind at ease?”

And I replied, “Sorry Sigmund. How about you? Did you manage to bag our little gift-giver in the cage last night?”

I mean, what kind of people talk like this? *Stares at you with owl eyes* Gah! Apparently we do! Man, Honey and I could be arrested if anyone was listening in. LOL! Wouldn’t you love to be on a fly on the Homeland Security wall as Honey had to explain why his megalomaniac wife was calling him by an alias and asking him about bagging someone in a cage? I know I would. 🙂

Hope everyone had a great week! Enjoy your weekend!

And as always. Thanks for stopping by!

Riley

I Dropped The Hammer

 

Downloads252

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TWO NEW COVERS!!!

First I had to share the new covers for Stare Me Down and Stare Her DownI love them! Stare Him Down will be released this spring and there’s additional information on that at the bottom of this post.

Honey story first.

Here’s the deal. Honey and I have been having a little bit of a domestic dispute over wood. Not his, thankfully, 😉 but the kind of wood I want him to use to make the shelves I want wrapped around the new corner wall he built in the living room. How hard can picking wood be?

*Looks right at you*

It has been excruciating and I’ll tell you why. The only wood I found at the lumber store that would work for me, Honey blew off saying he could find better at another store. I was like, “Okay.” But as it turns out those two perfect boards I picked out of the 300 I picked through weren’t available at other stores, and when he went back to get them they were gone. *side-eyes you* Not that he didn’t attempt to pull a fast one by bringing home two different boards and trying to pass them off as the ones I picked – he did.

*Shakes head* He shall never learn…

Anyways, long story cut short? We went out shopping for wood again and then came home empty handed. I was angry. So what did I do? I griped, complained, and harassed him the whole way home. We were still bickering when we got out of the truck (usually, we never bicker, so you have to know I was frustrated) Not so frustrated though, that I overlooked the stack of 1X10’s on my neighbor’s driveway. They looked old, weathered, beat-up and totally perfect for my shelves. Here’s the conversation.

I held a hand up and said to Honey, “Hold on a minute.”

“Gladly.”

“What’s that?”

He turned and then frowned, “How the hell should I know. That’s Steve’s junk. Not mine.”

“It’s old wood.”

He snapped back around to look at me. “So? You’re not thinking…? No.”

I nodded and promptly marched over to our neighbor’s house to ask him about his junk. After he told me that it was an old header out of his house that he’d screwed together to make a lift so he could get under his Corvette, *insert me stepping back and tilting my head in your direction here* Men do the stupidest things, don’t they? But in this case, Steve was bordering on genius in my eyes because that wood was perfectly aged – so all I had to do was tell him Honey would build him a new and improved wooden carjack or lift thingamajig and we’d all be good.

Wrong. He tilted his head like he had to think about it. Not a good sign and then his wife had to guilt him into giving up the goods which didn’t sit well with me either. I wanted the wood, but not if he was emotionally attached to it for some odd reason, you know what I’m saying?

So…this is what I did. The next day when Honey got home unexpectedly early I asked him to go next door and take one of the smaller boards off the pile. After he brought it in I explained what I wanted him to do to it. I wanted him to make a sample of distressed wood for me. I even pulled up a video on YouTube for him to watch. Once he had the process down it was out to the workbench to make the sample. After he beat it up he called me out to have a look before he put the paint and stain on it. Here’s the conversation.

“It looks pretty good, doesn’t it?”

I looked it over and said, “Yeah it does. Are you going to stain it now?”

He smiled and handed me the hammer. “You want to try it?”

I thought, sure why not? “Okay. Do I just hit it straight or…?”

“No, on an angle. So it makes an imperfect dent.”

“Alright.” I didn’t even hesitate. I just smashed the hammer as hard as I could down on the small board. It jumped, the work bench jumped, and my arm vibrated in pain from palm right up to my shoulder. “Ow.”

“Give me that, before you hurt yourself.” He took the hammer from me and scowled. “What the hell?”

“You told me to hit it.”

“Not kill it.”

*Le sigh*

Anyways, after he used some paints and did the stain technique it was perfect! I was so happy, especially when he said, “If I knew this is what you were after from the beginning we would have had the shelves up weeks ago. It would actually be easier to get the effect you want with newer wood. This had a lot of gray color to it that I had to use the plane on in order to remove.”

*Stares right at you* Who says things don’t happen for a reason? Not me. I promptly told Honey to return the piece of sample wood to Steve’s pile. Did I mention that we never told our neighbor we were going to make a sample out of it? No? Well, we didn’t. And now when I look over at it I take pride in the fact that the one little piece of wood on the pile is the nicest looking old piece in the stack. Honey and are taking bets on how long it’s going to take Steve to notice the chic change. Probably not until he finishes his bathroom remodel and he has room for the pile in his garage again.

*Shrug* Doesn’t matter to me. Our neighbor gets to keep his old wood with the upcycled board in the mix, and I get new wood designed by Honey. 🙂 Of course, Honey has already said that I don’t get to hammer those pieces of wood. Why you may ask? He’s afraid his workbench couldn’t take the blows.

*Lifts a brow in your direction* Don’t worry. I assured him that if I wanted to hammer his wood on the workbench, said “wood” most definitely would love the blows. Heheheheh.

Up next around here? I’m going to do something special for Valentine’s Day. On the 14th we’ll kick-off an epic build-a-giveaway to take place on the day Stare Him Down releases. On heart day, I’ll be revealing the cover and introducing you to Master James’ Barrington and his girl Michaela Donovan. This story is a little different, but the hero and heroine’s journey? That’s what has me completely enamored with them. So sexy and kind of sweet, until, you know? She makes a big mistake. Heh. Can’t wait for you to meet them.

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley

P.S I may have some remodel pictures on Valentine’s Day too! I read your emails. 😀

 

 

 

It Came Upon A Midnight Unclear…

 

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So this is what Honey looks like this time of year. Poor Honey.

In between driving him crazy with all the purchases—Have I mentioned that I’m not a shopper normally? This means that Honey lives pretty much stress free of going broke 90% of the year, but during the holidays? *Side eyes you* I make up for the drought. Just sayin’…

And with our current remodel in full swing? Well, it’s good I made those crib notes on my wedding day about why I fell in love with him. Also just sayin’… *Shakes head*

But then, there are those times I don’t need the notes. Lately there’s been more than a few occasions and I thought I’d share them with you. 🙂

The first instance came when I was doing the last load of laundry before Honey moved our washer and dryer out to the garage so he could do the floor in there. If you’ve been following my blog for a while you know I hate doing laundry. (<-You may want to come back to this link. It’s a good one!) Meh, hate is such a mild word for how I feel about the topic. Loathe. Detest. *Looks right at you* I’d rather slam both hands in a car door than be chained to those machines for the day, but I digress.

Imagine me in the purgatory room emptying his pockets. I found the standard items, a screw, a nut, a bolt, a couple of tile spacers, and…? Five purchase slips for a needy family’s holiday dinner. *Sigh* It wasn’t so much that he’d bought them. Honey frequently does stuff like this. It was that we’d just gone grocery shopping and he reminded me to add a couple to our purchase. He never mentioned that he’d already bought some. Is it wrong of me to find that extremely sexy? Probably, but don’t judge me. I do worse things than that. *Thinks* Like eats peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon *gasp* several times in succession and I wear slipper socks *leans in to whisper* the ones that have the toes. So worse, right? 😉

But back to Honey and the remodel…

There he was swearing up a contractor storm. I mean, like frying my ears off type deal, and then he finally goes quiet all of a sudden. In the next breath he’s leaning into my office with a contrite expression on his face, and says, “Sorry, babe. I’ll tone it down a little, okay?”

I didn’t miss a beat. I smiled at him and said as clear and strongly as I could, “You filthy talking, Mother %$#$! I don’t give a ^%$%#  what you $#@#!@ do as long as you do your %$%$#!! job and do it well.”

He nearly fell through the doorway before he’d manage to catch himself. Then he all he did was laugh before he went to work. That had me smiling for the rest of that particular afternoon.

Then there was the Monday night. That would be the 14th and also Honey and my anniversary. So we did what we usually do on our special day/night. We went out to dinner and I did what I usually do. I ask him the same question every year. Propping my chin in my palm, I asked, “So gorgeous, what do you love about me?”

Normally he’s pretty dirty with his answer and his words are focused on *cough, cough* more than just my witty conversation, ya know what I’m saying? But on Monday? He surprised me. He went down a list of some very, very, heartfelt and wonderful things, but you know? The one that stuck out to me was when he said, “You never put anything away. It’s like you leave it there on the counter, or tipped up against the cabinet for me to take care of and all I do is shake my head, and say, that’s my Riley.”

*Sniffle* It wasn’t even the words. It was the massive shrug he affected afterwards, as if to say he didn’t understand this himself that had me all teary-eyed. *Blows nose and then looks at you* Now I feel guilty purposely trying to drive him crazy by leaving that sh*t out all the time. 😉 No worries either. Right after this he delved into the dirty stuff.

*Sniffles again*

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about what happened over the weekend. After we worked really hard on moving things around so he could tile a portion of the family room – it was late and we took the poochie out. I’d read somewhere that there was going to be a star shower or something, so I mentioned it.

“Tonight there’s a celestial event. You should be able to see shooting stars.”

Of course Honey loves this kind of stuff. Remember him and his documentaries? So what did we do? We both stopped and looked up. Poochie there doing a double and triple take, thinking we’ve lost our minds, and it isn’t until I remember what day it is and how long ago I read that article that I realize I might have made a mistake.

I hate admitting mistakes. I don’t know why. So there I am debating on telling him I got the dates mixed up.

We’re still standing side-by-side staring up.

I’m still hedging…and then I say, “Meh, it’s cloudy we’ll never see anything.”

“What do you mean? It’s as clear as glass.”

“Milk glass. Seriously. It’s no big deal.”

He gets really quiet and then he sighs.

Keep in mind we’re still staring up at the sky.

He says, “Am I to understand by your backpedaling that there’s no star shower happening tonight?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, so you want to point out the constellations or should I?”

“Go for it.”

And he did.

The poor poochie thought we were nuts.

But then…

*Cue the Dun-Dun-Dun music here*

When we got back to the house Honey went right to the hall closet and pulled out a shoebox. I recognized the look on his face right away.

“What did you do?”

He cringed a little and said, “I was going to tell you tomorrow, but…well, here.”

I took the box and looked inside. I didn’t see anything but a mish-mash of broken bits. I shook it a little and then asked, “What is it?”

“Your lion off that top of that wooden box in the spare room. It fell after I bumped into it.”

I nodded. It was okay. I liked that lion, but accidents happen. “That’s okay.”

“Babe?”

I knew what that meant. “There’s more?”

“The frog. You know the glass one the boy brought home from Europe ?”

Oh, no. I didn’t want to make Honey feel bad, but that was a memento. A glass piece my son carried in his backpack all over Europe to bring home for me after he graduated high school – all because he knew I loved frogs. I swallowed my disappointment. “I’m sure it was an accident,” I said.

Honey cleared his throat. “And your angel. The one that was over the door.”

*Tilts head to look at you* Seriously? Honey bought me that angel when we moved into the house! It sat over the door frame for so many years it had become a fixture. Who the hell was this guy? Attila the contractor?

I stared up at him. “Anything else broken?”

He nodded and there I was thinking this better be good because he was going to get it, when he whispered, “My heart when I broke them. I’m sorry.”

Yeah, I know. I was throwing my hands up in the air too. How can you get mad at that? You can’t. So I gave him a great big hug and told him he better become twinkle toes around our place from now on. But then I had to ask. “You didn’t feel bad about the lion?”

“I can buy you a thousand lions to replace that one. But the frog and angel? They were attached to one of a kind moments.”

One of a kind moments…

So true.

Then he said, “We’ll have to make some more of those.”

And we did. 😀

So all in all? It’s been an interesting few weeks with Honey – to say the least.

*sigh and then perks up*

Oh! Don’t forget about tomorrow. I’m doing that guest post. It couldn’t have come at a better time, right? I’ll post the link here as soon as I get it.

Update! I have the link to Rebecca Zanetti’s blog. . Here it is. Click here!

How’s everyone holding up coming so close to the holiday? Good? Bad? Do you find yourselves having more wine than usual, or are you just whining more than usual? I know I’m doing both. 😉

Thanks for stopping by!

Riley