Let’s Play: The Mysterious Laundry Challenge…Oh, And We Have A Giveaway Winner!

 

Okay, have a look at these precious Honey laundry finds.

*I shall pause here to reflect*

For those of you who are new to Honey’s laundry “specialness”, let me fill you in.

The man is a collector. Don’t ask me why. To this day, I still have fond memories of us sitting together around the campfire when we were younger, drinking beer and shooting the breeze with our friends – while I’d watch him peel his brew labels off, and stuff the paper bits in his pocket.

*Side-eyes you*

Always thought this was because he didn’t like to litter. But, well, as you can see, the man collects these work-related smalls. A screw, or nail, or…?

Yeah, I don’t want to spoil the challenge, so let me ask you this. After examining the group of items in this latest treasure trove of laundry findings, what item doesn’t belong?

Come on, look harder. You have to see what I see.

*Points right at you* Exactly! The bobby-pin. *frowns and drums fingers* Now, what do you suppose the man was using that for? Picking locks? I hope not. It’s not part of his job description. But, then, neither is collecting these little bits-and-bobs I’m stuck pulling out of the dryer on laundry day.

Those annoying clink, clink, clink, clink sounds as the dryer turns? They drive me nuts…and, funny enough, they give me nuts, and bolts, and—you get the picture. 😉

When I asked him about the hair pin…well, here’s the conversation.

“So, I did the laundry today and look what I found. Any idea why you kept this?”

Quite frankly, I’d given up asking him about the mars/morets (wire connectors), screws and gaskets. He’s a collector, remember? Which did have me worried about him taking up with collecting female hair paraphernalia. This is where I was going to have to draw the line. You know what I’m saying?

Honey doesn’t even blink. He looks at the bobby-pin, and sighs. “It was probably in the way.”

And there’s me, blink, blink. In the way? The thing was tiny. “Of what?”

“Running my fingers through my girlfriend’s hair.”

Okay, I was ready to freak out here, because I wasn’t expecting that quick comeback, but then he smiled.

“What the hell do you think it was in the way of? Try me being able to apply floor patch smoothly down at the job site.”

And, again, me blink, blink, before everything was back in proper perspective. That’ll teach me not to tease the man so much. Phew! But hey, anyone else think of the pin obstructing a clean pour on a floor patch?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Haha! His girlfriend. That man. Like he could handle two of us…he’s having a hard enough time with just me. 😀

 

Okay, onto the winner. Congrats! There is an email in your inbox. Please let me know you’ve received the notice, and I will post your name and the detail of our next build-a-giveaway in my next post.

As always, thanks so much for stopping by! I hope none of you are stuck chained to the washer today. Now that I’ve finished mine up, I’m toying with the idea of making a laundry collage. Wouldn’t that be neat? Say I collected Honey’s “littles” all year and thenstuck them on…I don’t know, a big tool. I could surprise him with the sculpture at Christmas. Oooh, I might be onto something here. I will keep you posted. Poor Honey.

Riley

 

 

Deck The Balls With Hows Of Folly?

 

I’d say, “Ho, Ho, Ho”, but it’s more like Bah, ha, ha, ha!

*Pulls down my readers to look at you over the rim*

Honey is in fine form this Xmas season. Check it out.

Place: Our dining room

Time: This morning

Occasion: Computer tutoring 101

Imagine him staring at the new laptop as if it’s a rabid alien suffering from a dual case of horrific malaises. *Narrows eyes while I think about an appropriate analogy*

Got it.

In this scenario, the alien is not only suffering from the plague, but a very contagious skin hive-rash type deal that is transferred instantaneously once contact is made.

Now…

Imagine me rolling my eyes at the silly man for keeping his distance. 😉

Here’s the conversation.

Me, “It’s not going to start itself. Push the button.”

He pops his brows as he scans the open beastie. “I would if I could find it. Maybe you need a fob.”

*Looks right at you* Seriously?

“Nope. It’s right where the other one was, only smaller.”

“Yeah,” like that’s going to help.”

I didn’t say anything to that because, quite frankly, I happened to agree with him. I mean who are the people designing these new electronics? Rabbits? Which, you know, does beg the question, how many carrots must one consume to keep up with the 20/20 vision required to use the new equipment?

*Shakes head*

He must have seen me do this because he sighed and said in that voice that makes me laugh, “You promised to be patient.”

I was being patient. “I am being more than patient.”

Did I mention that I’m not a big fan of doing computer stuff with him at anytime – let alone on a Sunday? No? Well, suffice it to say that I’d rather do laundry in between raking the lawn and emptying the garbage.

*Cups hand behind ear and leans towards you* What’s that you ask?

Why?

Why!

I’ll tell you why. The man is a study of contradictions when it comes to being taught the dos and don’ts of online security etiquette.

I know I’ve mentioned how everyone becomes Honey’s friend once they meet him. Remember the guys going golfing and me getting stuck with the wives I’d never met before?

*Leans in to whisper* That did not not end well…

Anyways, it’s no different with the computer, and it should be. I mean, you don’t tell the person on the phone helping you with your online difficulties with getting into – or signing up to – a new account on you-name-it website that

A: You don’t know what your doing.

B: That your old password is _______ (fill in the blank because he did) and would it be okay to use the same one again.

OR, my personal favorite

C: My wife is staring daggers at me right now and I have no idea why, so thank you very much for being patient with me as she clearly isn’t.

Imagine me with an absolutely shocked expression here.

Why?

Because I was being patient.

But…I digress. The whole reason I decided to blog about this came when he told the girl  (by the girl, I mean the person on the line that has a million calls lined up with people looking for her expertise and help) to hold on a moment.

Then?

Then the frigging guy points at me with the index finger on his other hand and says something ridiculous.

Truthfully, I don’t even know what he said. All I saw was his finger wagging in front of my nose.

Right then I decided to stop trying to figure out if he deserved to be on my naughty list.

*Looks away and then looks back*

Come on! You guys know me. I had no choice but to jump on that happy naughty-list bandwagon with…

“Careful, babe, I’ll bite it. No, I’ll lick it. Actually, I might suck it, and then what are you going to do?”

He didn’t even hug his cell closer against him – so we both knew the girl “put on unofficial hold” could hear what we was being said – the bugger!

Then he gets this smarmy expression on his face, and says, “Riley! In the work place environment this could be construed as sexual harassment. What will HR have to say about it?”

I folded my arms over my chest and shrugged. “I’d say, ‘You go girl!’ and then I’d tell you to grow a pair.”

Bah!

You see? These conversations never work out between Honey and I, because there he was trying to figure out whether he was going to deal with me, or the computer crap we both hated, and there I was, daring him with a look that screamed, “Oh-oh- Pick me!”

In the end? Neither one of us made the naughty list. But Honey? He managed to do what he needed to on the new device. So…yay, him!

Speaking of devices. *raises a brow in your direction* Tomorrow, being that it’s close to the end of the year and I’ve lived with the shock of this secret since spring, I’m going to share like I’ve never shared before!

Be afraid guys.

Very afraid.

It involves the ordering of certain “feminine entertainment” devices. I shall explain all in my post – but for now I want you to think of two things.

  1. A giant with potatoes growing in his ears
  2. And his little finger

As always, thanks for stopping by!

Riley

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tell Me Some Lies…& More of Our Build-a-Giveaway!

 

I had to post this one since I was laughing my butt off over it.

There I am driving home from the store, mulling over what to blog about and I think: SEX.

Oh, don’t look at me like. It’s fun to write about, at least for me. 😀 But I digress, because my second thought was, you’re always writing about sex on account of your books.

*Insert me tapping my front tooth here as I ponder*

What to write about…?

And that’s when I had one of those crazy-eight kind of thought streams. I started thinking about the heroine in my story, Permit Me. About how she was always trying to do the right thing and after about twenty random other thoughts this came to me.

Always tell the truth.

And there I was sitting at the red light waiting for the green, thinking. I always tell the truth. I’m a good person. I—

Yes, my thoughts did a double-take. Haha! They went back to “I always tell the truth.”

There’s me thinking. OMG, if I always told the truth – if we always told the truth, what would happen?

*Looks right at you*

We’d wind up killing each other.

*Leans in to whisper for clarity*

That would be figuratively, not literally.

And, of course, I’m talking exclusively about Honey and me. But walk with me a second and let me explain about the levels of truth.

Level one is the smile you maintain while you tell your host that dinner was wonderful even though you stuffed half of your meal in your pocket because you couldn’t stomach a bite of it – but you didn’t want to hurt his/her feelings.

Level two lie, I’ll call the look away. It’s the one where you pin the ding on the new car on a runaway grocery cart, instead of on the pillar you hit when you opened the door because you couldn’t reach the container when you were at the drive-thru bank that day.

Level three? Let’s call this the red zone. It encompasses everything from coveting thy neighbor’s wife and way beyond.

Don’t know about you, but I always assume the best of people. Seriously, I’m always shocked when I find out negative things about people I know because it never occurs to me, you know?

Anyways, the point is, level one is lying to protect someone’s feelings. You don’t want the host to know you detested what they made, right? Level two is lying to protect your feelings. You already feel bad about hitting the pillar and making the mark on your new shiny baby, so no need to feel worse by telling your significant other who – will no doubt, harp about it, right?

And then there’s level three.

That’s the level I’m always referring to when I say I tell the truth.

So there’s me, driving down the street heading home, and laughing. Why? Because I started running those first two level scenarios over in my head. If we all told the truth in those moments, this is what it would look like.

Scenario One

The wife. “Honey, do you like my new top?”

The husband. “No, it makes you like old and fat.”

The wife. “Yeah, well you’re no spring chicken, and speaking of chicken, I’m not making dinner tonight.”

The husband. “Why? Because I told you the truth?”

The wife. “Yes, you idiot. The least you could have done is lie. But back to why I’m not making dinner for you. Do you want to know?

She glares at him as he nods and then she says, “Because I’m fat and old! We’ll be eating a lot of salads from now on and going to bed early – being the ancient person I am. Deal with it.”

 

Scenario Two

The husband. “Babe, did you see there’s a big ding in the driver side door of the car.”

The wife. “Oh yes.”

The husband. “Do you know how it got there?”

The wife. “I do.”

The husband. “Do you mind telling me?”

The wife. “I bashed the door against one of those cement pillars at the bank.”

The husband. “How many times have I told you to watch those?”

The wife. “At least twenty times.”

The husband. “Is that all you have to say?”

The wife nods.

The husband. “That’s a bad ding.”

The husband. “It’s going to cost a fortune to get it fixed.”

The husband. “It won’t be worth going through insurance with the deductible and all.”

The husband. “Didn’t I tell you to use the outside lane? It doesn’t have a pillar.”

The husband. “I wonder if I can touch it up myself.”

The husband. “When did you do it?”

The husband. “Never mind. I’m already depressed. You weren’t hiding this from me, were you?”

The husband. “Didn’t you say that your new friend’s husband is a mechanic. Maybe we can get a discount.”

The husband stops at the front door before he goes to recheck the damage. “You didn’t answer. When did this happen?”

The husband turns and is shocked to see his wife isn’t in the room.

Now why did she leave the room?

She told a level two truth and that’s *points at the above text* is the thanks she gets for it! Talk about depressed!

 

Scenario Three

 

For this one, we need some props. Like…a spiky strident, an equally spiky tail, and a devil to go along with the ensemble. We also need a handsome older man with thick, flowing white hair, blue eyes, and a robe that any fashionista would die to own.

I say this, because there’s no husband and wife in this scenario. Why? Level three lies require the deft hand of divinity as it’s a battle for the soul.

I see this playing out like a boxing match. A, he said, she did, type thing with a few “Oh, yeah, wells” thrown in.

*Wags a finger at you* I know what you’re thinking. If it’s really bad stuff that’s been done at the level three all the souls are going to hell, right?

Wrong.

You can’t just say, “Hey, you there with the green jacket on, step away from the pearly gates. You committed murder, so you are going to ashes and cinders territory.”

Did I mention that the man in the green jacket was military?

Or, maybe, it was worn by a man who lost control of his vehicle when he had a survivable heart attack and ran someone over.

Or, maybe, it belonged to a woman who administered the wrong dosage of medicine to a patient on her nightly rounds.

You see? What the ancient law defines as “murder” comes in many different forms, so, the way I see it? Divine intervention is a must in these kinds of cases. And, in these kinds of cases there’s bound to be surprises. Especially if I’m writing it.

What if, the military man saved more lives than he took? Wouldn’t God call dibs on his soul?

What about the man in the car who had a true and uncontrollable accident. God might be ready to duke it out with Satan over him, but then it comes to light that the driver kicked his dog, beat his wife regularly, and cheated every chance he got when he gambled.

Hm…I’d be thinking Satan would be rubbing his hands together, no?

And what about the woman?

*Hikes a brow at you* My bet is, her own guilt would cement her path to cinders and ashes territory before God and Satan even got a chance to get in the ring over her.

A shame, really, because out of the three scenarios hers was the most heart breaking because she’d dedicated her life to saving and helping lives, and with the event of one mistake, all that joy was taken away from her.

So, what do you think God would say about this? Or Satan for that matter?

Heheheh. I bet you guys are wishing right about now that I’d taken a short cut home. This seems to be taking forever, no? 😉

I’ll tell you what I think. I think they’d both want her. One would lay claim because she’s given more than she’s taken in life, and the other would lay claim to her, because she broke the rules, and he’d have a chance to steal an angel without breaking the law the way it’s written.

It was at this point that I realized it all comes down to guilt and association. The two men who went before the woman let their fates be decided by higher powers, while a woman?

Yeah, she can’t seem to keep her trap shut long enough to be let off the hook.

That’s why we need level one and two on the scale of lies. Without them, there wouldn’t be any women in heaven.

Wow. When you look it like that – heaven is hell and hell is heaven because all the bad doers don’t feel any guilt and waltz through the gates.

Seriously, think about it. I watched a movie a while back. And in it the bad king had to sacrifice those he loved to get power. There I was watching his beautiful wife being thrown into the pool of water and this snake-type person surface to take her down. Then later, his beautiful and virtuous daughter gets thrown into the pool and is taken down.

It didn’t take me a minute to realize that the underworld is filled with some beautiful people, you know what I mean? Think about it.

I told Honey my thought while we were watching that flick, and after he stared at me for a full thirty seconds he said, “You’re determined to wreck every movie I watch, aren’t you?”

I didn’t blink, when I replied, “Absolutely not.”

You see? That right there was a level two, because I am SO going to bust his balls when he makes me watch movies only he enjoys. >:)

Do you agree with my lie-o-meter? Disagree? Or are you going to pull a level one in comments and not hurt my feelings?

Hey, now…I’m made of tougher stuff. You can tell me. 😊

Okay. Now, onto our giveaway.

We already have an Amazon gift card, so why don’t we do some chocolate covered strawberries delivered to your home (if you live in the US) – if not, and you win, I will purchase a gift card in the amount of the prize that will be included with the other stuff we’re going to be adding in the coming weeks.

Here’s what they will look like.

How’s everyone doing? Good, I hope! You guys know the drill. If you are a subscriber you’re already entered for one chance to win. With each new comment you post on the posts during the giveaway weeks your name will be added again for every comment for more chances to win.

Yay! I love reading comments.

And, as always, thanks for stopping by.

Riley

 

 

 

 

Arsenic and Oh, What A Case!

 

First things first. I’ll get the bad…or, in my case, sad over with before we get to the happy. A Honey story. Yay!

For those of you who’ve been following my blog for a while you know I’m fairly consistent when it comes to publishing books and doing posts, right? So you were probably wondering why I’ve been a little lax with both those endeavors over the past several months.

The short answer?

Arsenic poisoning.

*Looks right at you* It’s no joke. Here I am wondering why I was feeling so unlike myself and boom! One hair test later I find out I have a rather large problem. I nearly flipped when I got my very expensive and independent panel done. I was convinced that everything would check out. It’s no wonder when the lab called right away to tell me (that’s law by the way) I nearly passed out.

Honey, of course is freaking out. I haven’t seen the poor guy this distraught since I went into labor with our son. 😀

After I get all this figured out I will post the findings because I wouldn’t want anyone to through what I’ve been through over the last several months. *Raises a brow at you* But don’t worry. I have everything documented, just in case I need to write a big book about it someday. *Twirls that big mustache up there and releases a dirty laugh*

Here’s the family’s reaction:

Honey? He swore and then paced around like a caged lion. He went from being mad, upset, worried, to being mad all over again. We tested the water, and have done more research on the topic than you can imagine. So his answer? He’s going to brood about it until we have an answer.

My son? He simply said pack your bags you’re coming to live with us. <- Haha! I bet my daughter in-law would love that. Not! And I didn’t want to burst his bubble or anything, but nothing in our house has changed in 17 years – nothing major at any rate – so it’s not that. Meh, I’ll let him figure that out on his own.

My daughter? After she gave me a thousand different instructions…did I mention she’s a chip off the old Riley block? She’s been on a campaign to cheer me up. I don’t really know why or when she decided I needed cheering – because I don’t need any. Seriously, I’m still delightful. 😉 Anyways, it was one of her many attempts at making happy times for us that has prompted me to share this Honey conversation. This was last night.

Honey and I are watching a show and my cell sounds with a text.

Would you and dad like to go on a date night with us and do this?

I look at the image and it’s a mason jar filled with some amber colored liquid. Of course I take the time to read the info about it being a craft project of making one’s own body scrub, before I hold the phone out for Honey and say, “Girlie-girl wants us to double date. We’d be doing this.”

Honey’s eyes narrowed as he stared at my cell. Then his look narrowed even more when he said, “No thank you.”

My cell went off again and I knew who it was. Did I mention that my girl has the patience of a starving four-year-old in a candy store filled with everything she loves? No? True story.

Tell dad to stop frowning. If he does this with us, we’ll do this with him next time.

I look at the image attached and silently laughed my butt off. My girl knows her dad. It was a picture of a helicopter taking off for a joy ride. What a great bribe! I made sure to enlarge the image before I showed it to him.

“Alrighty. She says if you do the first one with us we’ll do this one with you next time.”

He leers at it, but even though he made like he wasn’t, I could tell he was interested. Before I could comment though, my phone sounded again.

Or, we could do this?

It was an image of some Kung-fu guys doing their thing. So I showed it to him, saying, “Third option.”

He made a face and then said, “Okay, I’ll agree to the first option, but I’m not drinking that slop.”

*Looks right at you* Swill back body scrub? DEE-LISH! NOT! Me thinks someone didn’t bother reading the info beneath the mason jar.

I laughed. “You don’t drink it. It’s a homemade body scrub.”

He gives me the side-eye and says, “You want me to scrub this temple with that slop?” He waved his hand down the length of his torso, and to say that I was gob smacked would have been an understatement.

What did I do?

I immediately texted my daughter to convey his snob-like conceit. Because, you know, it was funny. My daughter typed back, Haha, but her significant other laughed his butt off and texted:

Haha, Yeah, tell him it cleans from the inside out!

Aww, poor Honey. He really looks wiped. He’s so worried about this other situation, I guess mostly because we don’t know where it’s coming from – that he’s ready to set up cameras and hire a security detail.

I was like, “Hm, let’s not. I highly doubt the environment needs to be watched. Maybe I should just start wearing shoes when I hang out in the lanai.”

Nah…that would be too easy. 😉

So, I think we should call this the last post before Permit Me releases! How about we do our giveaway this coming Friday? Post comments and I’ll tally. We’ll have a winner announced then! Can’t wait!!!

Oh, and I might add something mid-week so make sure you check back if you’re not a subscriber – although I don’t know why you wouldn’t be because you get an extra change to win the epic giveaways!

As always thanks for stopping by!

Riley…who’s looking for some old lace to go with my current problem. 0.0

Crap, I forgot to tell you what my mom said when I gave her the news. She waved me off and did the big tsk, tsk, tsk before she said, “You’ve been eating too many apple seeds.”

Me? Oh, hell yes, I was blinking. Blinking so fast I nearly passed out. Who eats apple

seeds? Not this girl. Hence the big mystery. 

Cheers! to me finding the cause.

 

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

 

Okay, so Honey and I were having one of our infamous chats about the universe and something interesting came up. Actually, *Looks right at you* several interesting things came to my attention, but I am going to focus in on just one.

An EMP attack of global proportions.

I know, deep, right?

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, it’s an Electromagnetic pulse attack that would basically wipe out our infrastructure. No electronics, no sewer, no electric, no water…yeah, no nuthin’ we’d be living like the cavemen in no time. *sigh* I hate to ponder about these things, but sometimes you have to.

*Thinks for a second* Then? *Points at you*

This doesn’t mean you can’t make the solution be one that is fun and uplifting to think about.

Honey calls this “my making Lemon meringue pie out of a watermelon moment”, but whatever.

So here’s the conversation:

I say, “You know I was thinking about imminent global threats today and this one came to me.”

“Oh boy.” He sat down and lifted a brow at me. “Am I going to need a drink, or will this just have me buying more life insurance?”

Haha! The latter was always a good idea. “No seriously. I was thinking about an EMP attack and it made very, very sad.”

Now both his brows went up. “I’d be devastated. No electronics? I’m the one who watches TV.”

Yeah, yeah, that was true, but for this conversation, I didn’t want to focus in on the fallout details. Hollywood and every Debbie downer on the planet had those things covered. I wanted to envision an upside to the end game of this kind of attack – any kind of attack actually. So I said this to him and funny enough – he was interested.

“An upside to societal breakdown? I gotta hear this and don’t tell me Batman arrives to save the day or that aliens land and stop the war.” He shook his head. “And don’t frown. I know you too well so I know how your writer’s mind works.”

*Raises my hand to you and acknowledges, guilty! I’m always inventing possible plot scenarios that cover just about any outlandish or fanciful thing* NOT that I was going to admit this to him. 😉 “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Pay attention. Imagine if you will—”

“Here we go,” he interrupted. *Le sigh* He’s such a guy.

“As I was saying. You know that stuff about Free Will I’ve been talking about? Well, suppose that’s the cosmic key to the universe? That earth is a Free Will zone and every life on earth only needs to claim it. I mean we give our will up to the government, banks, doctors, attorneys, lawyers, judges, police, military and don’t get me started on the IRS—”

“No fear of that. I want dinner tonight and we know what happens to those plans when you start talking about their 20 million dollar Star Wars extravaganza.”

“Great! Thanks for reminding me about that. It ties in with what I would do if an EMP attacked happened or was going to happen.”

He sat forward and tilted his head. “Happened? Are you going to shoot that BS about multi-dimensional universes and time travel and pirates and outer worldly vultures who you think have preyed on mankind long enough?”

“Abso-freaking-lutely!”

“I should have poured myself a drink.”

I waved him off and then launched into my brilliant and yet simple plan for the world. “Imagine this.” I have to become animated here or he stares at me like he’s watching paint peel. “There’s those in power who know how the game works – they’ve reached the end of the deck, they’ve played the Trump card and they still don’t like where this is going so they decide to do the EMP attack on America because it’s the world economy really—”

“No, it’s not.”

You see what he does? He cuts into my roll.

I scowl at him. “It’s the biggest consumer economy. Is that better?”

“I’m listening.”

“Well, being that it’s a game, and all have to participate to make it work, the power brokers have decided to jump start things with this kind of attack because their default position is always to create fear. BUT and this is a big but, there are too many people who are onto them. Ten years ago they may have pulled it off easily, but not so well now. Why? Because the swell of THE PEOPLE who are onto them decide to hold them financially responsible for what they’ve done to not only our country – but the entire world. We put our foot down and say that’s enough you have to pay up. We put such an astronomical number on the fine that they will all be broke for the rest of eternity.”

“That sounds pretty predictable to me. Wouldn’t they ignore you?”

“Us you mean. It’s a big collective and no. You see when you claim your FREE WILL they have no power over you in your past lives or future lives. You are no longer an earning product for them so they are without a means to make and attract tradable things of value for the rest of time. But you didn’t let me finish. What if we as a collective say to all those that disrupt and corrupt our planet that they can keep what they so far have collected – providing they didn’t steal or misappropriate those things of value – only if they leave this planet for good without any war, EMP attacks or nuclear attacks. Then THE PEOPLE would be free to live the way they were meant to live on this planet.”

He was silent for a second or two and then he whispered, “I don’t know how you do it.”

There’s me basking in the compliment thinking that I’d just come up with a plausible way to save the planet from the negative energy that is dragging our society down when he added.

“How do you sleep at night with all that crap rolling around in your head?”

Crap?

Rolling?

Nothing rolls around in my head, there’s no room. Every square inch is taken up by random and not so random thoughts – I assure you. To him, I said, “It’s easy. I figure somewhere out there in this sky or the galaxy above, the Creator of Souls is listening to me. And, being that he’s the gifter of FREE WILL he will see the sense in this plan. The only fly in the proverbial “Save the Universe” oil?”

“What?”

“Is that stubborn people like you will look at me like you are now when I tell them.”

That’s when he smiled. A big, bright, smile that reached his eyes. “If I thought something like this was possible, you know I’d be all over it.”

“Sometimes you have to rely on faith alone.”

“I prefer reality.”

And I would have preferred to toss one of the envelopes on the table at him, but, *insert a deep breath here* I smiled back at him instead. Talking through my teeth I told him, “I choose to believe. This is why you and I make such a great pair. The more you deny the possibility of such a thing happening, the more I believe it will happen.”

His eyes widened and he smacked the table. “Unreal. You take the possibility of averting a dramatic fictional cosmic catastrophe and turn it into a husband smack down in the turn of one sentence.”

“Thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment because doing so requires finesse and talent, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” His smile eased and he sat back. “What would happen if I had taken what you said and embraced it as being possible from the get-go?”

I took a millisecond to think that over and then I didn’t even blink. “I’d suggest you head over to the doctor’s for a check-up. Clearly you’d be sick. I thought we’d already decided decades ago that I was here to save your soul? If you agreed at face value I would consider my job here done.”

“Meaning?”

“I’m glad you’re not the average Joe. I want more people like me to see that this world has some phenomenal secrets. There’s a special kind of magic and right now most of it is being corrupted by people who don’t have the heart or soul to wield it with grace and goodness.”

“Now.” He pointed at me as he nodded. “That I believe.”

You see? Honey does come around. It just takes a special way to deliver the message to him.

*Thinks about that for less than a millisecond when the epiphany comes to me*

Damn, he would have listened to me proclaiming to be the Virgin Mary if I delivered the message sans clothes. *Insert the action of a finger snap here* I wish I had thought of that tactic sooner. It would have saved me some grief. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell him this without stressing him out too much. 😀

So…Anyone else have any great ideas on how to save the planet? The caveat has to be that we get rid of the bad guys who have screwed things up to a fair thee well AND whatever attack they were planning in the first place has to be adverted.

Heheheh. Here’s me with my author mind thinking, if we missed averting the catastrophe we could always bend time and put us back to the moment it happened and stop it from happening. I didn’t mention this to Honey because he has enough to worry about. Did I mention that I’ve got the poor guy fixing the electric/cable stuff in our house? Doesn’t sound so bad, but you have to remember our stuff is in the attic and it’s a cabillion degrees here. I sent him up there a few days ago and forgot to stick around the ladder to make sure he didn’t expire up there.

My bad!

Actually, I felt terrible when he came into the nice cool kitchen looking like he’d just gone for a swim. Poor guy.

As always, thanks for stopping by! And don’t forget to give me a great solution to our save the world challenge – Remember, the key is FREE WILL – Start there and then the person who comes up with the funniest or most creative method to banish the negative and criminal energy from the planet will get their name added three additional times to the big drawing we still haven’t done.

Geez…Caleb and Genevieve are a year older. Boy, do I need to get their story finished!!!!

Riley