I bet you didn’t think that was possible…but it is!
Anyways, still working away on things here and had to laugh. Last night Honey and I were watching a movie, and well, maybe I should backtrack a little. Remember how I told you guys that I had the swear jar being loaded up for our trip to Mars at the end of the year? You know, because Honey swears a lot *looks right at you* now that I’m counting it’s a gargantuan amount.
The point is he keeps filling the jar, sometimes he shoves in extra dough for future disobedience. *Lifts brow at you* Yeah, that doesn’t please me. I finally came to the conclusion that the only thing I’m accomplishing here is another savings account. *Le sigh.”
What to do…? *Taps index fingernail on front tooth* What. To. Do?
Enter the lightbulb moment here.
Quite calmly, during a commercial, of course, I’m not that much of a witch with a b in front of it to make him miss the show — I tell him the money thing isn’t working.
Here’s the conversation.
“I’ve been thinking about the swear jar project and I’ve decided we’re going to have to switch things up a little.”
He kind of side-eyes me and says, “Oh?” It was the type of Oh that said, “Nah, nah, nah. I won!”
Aggravating? Don’t ask.
So I side-eye him right back. “Yes. I’m afraid if I don’t do something soon, you’re going to have our grandson swearing like a pirate by the time he’s five and I can’t have that so…”
Now I have his attention. He turns to look directly at me. “So? What are you scheming now?”
“No scheme.” I lied. It was a scheme and darn good one too. “I’ve just decided to put a moratorium on the cash jar, and exchange your penalty for conversations.”
He scowled while suspiciously eyeing me at the same time. My bliss? Yeah, it was soaring when he said, “Um…What now?”
“My conversations that is. You know the ones. About all my crazy theories and questions and what do call them? I can’t say because then I’d owe the jar, but a big pile of BS, that’s what. Anyways,” I rushed on as he looked ready to freak out. “Here’s the deal. Every time you swear, I’m marking it down and with each breaking of the law I get to have a conversation with you about one of my BS thoughts.”
Him in rapidly fire questioning mode. “Is there a time limit?”
I shake my head.
“Are there parameters on the level of the types of swear words I use?” (I could bore you with the details here and spell out the list of blasphemies he ran down, but I won’t). You’re welcome. 😉
I shook my head.
“What about the situation. Say I stub my toe. You know that’s a real _ucker.” <- Yeah, you fill in the blank. I’m trying to save my pennies from the jar.
I shake my head.
“Do I get a holiday?”
Blinks and then looks right at you. Seriously? I narrow my eyes at him.
“Well, this blows.”
I nodded, but then after an hour or so, I was shocked. *Leans in to whisper * Not really. Man, we were up to five conversations. That’s when it occurred to me that if I stick with this plan, I could be stuck talking to him – not with him – for the rest of my life.
Enter plan B.
The moment I saw how concerned he was with all the checkmarks on the page, I’d started to keep count, I threw him a bone. “Hey, we should make this interesting. If you can make me laugh out loud with a quip – I’ll knock one or two checks off the page.
All he did was smile and then five minutes later? He hits me with this.
In the movie, the hero says to the heroine, “Come on, we have to go. They put the Warlocks and Witches in the same place.”
“Where’s that? she replies.
And Honey says, “In Washington. They’re all politicians.”
I laughed out loud and when I turned to congratulate him on a job well done he was holding up the pad with pen in hand ready to cross off a few checks.
I swore. Albeit, silently, but it was still a swear, so I put .25 cents into the jar when he wasn’t looking. But can you believe this? The guy managed to get the page erased before he wrecked it all by adding three new checks to the page. I wouldn’t have been so bothered by all this if he hadn’t said, “Good times. I wonder how many checks I can earn and then erase tomorrow.”
*Blows out a breath*
The man is a menace, isn’t he?
So how’s your week going so far? Good? Things here are busy, but I’m getting stuff done. I should have the last item for our giveaway next week. My next story is one that has reconnected me with things from the past that I’d forgotten about. There’s a lot of me and Honey on the pages – dressed up for fiction, of course, but that’s probably why I’m taking my time with one. Who knows?
As always thanks for stopping by.